Who the Hell Am I?

How about we play another fun and exciting game of Who the Hell Am I?

In this game you get 10 clues to guess the name of a famous person. These clues are numbered countdown-style, 10 to 1, with the first clue numbered 10. Your score is determined by the highest numbered clue that evokes the correct answer.

At the end of the clues you can click a link for the answer. However, the link is numbered zero, so if you haven’t figured out the answer by the time you click it, you get no points.

Who the hell am I?

10. I was born in Bonn, Germany, in December, 1770. I’m named after my grandfather, who was a pre-eminent musician in Bonn. His son, my father Johann, was alcoholic and very abusive. He pushed the family tradition of music heavily on me, which often left me traumatized and in tears. He also promoted me as a child prodigy, and would lie about my age to make me seem younger than I was. But all the pushing paid off, as I was able to publish my first musical work in 1783, at age 13.

9. In 1791, at age 21, I moved to Vienna, where I quickly became renowned as a virtuoso pianist. I was regarded by the Viennese as the successor to Mozart, who had died the same year I arrived in Vienna.

8. My friend, the German playwright Johann Goethe, once wrote the following about me: “His talent amazed me; unfortunately he is an utterly untamed personality, who is not altogether wrong in holding the world to be detestable, but surely does not make it any more enjoyable … by his attitude.”

7. I never married, but had many heart throbs. In 1801, I fell in love with a young countess named Julie Guicciardi, but due to class differences I did not pursue her. However, I did dedicate my famous Moonlight Sonata to her. And in 1810, at age 40, I proposed to the 19-year-old niece of my doctor. But she rejected me. For her, I wrote the short piano piece, Für Elise.

Josephine Brunsvik

6. After my death, a 10-page, unsent love letter was discovered in my estate, addressed to my “Immortal Beloved.” Scholars have debated for many years as to the identity of this person. Many believe it was a young widow named Josephine Brunsvik. I had fallen hopelessly in love with Josephine in 1799, but she was an aristocrat and could not marry me. In 1994, a movie was produced entitled “Immortal Beloved,” which portrayed the addressee of this letter as my sister-in-law, Johanna Reiss.

5. In 1798, at age 28, I got into a quarrel with a singer, and fell into a fit. It was at this time that I first noticed that I was losing my hearing. By the time I was 31, my growing deafness led me to contemplate suicide. So I moved to a small town in Austria, where I spent six months trying to come to terms with my condition. At this time I became determined that if I should “seize Fate by the throat; it shall certainly not crush me completely.” I continued on as a musician, and was open to the public about my condition. I maintained most of my ability to hear speech and music normally until age 42. But I never went completely deaf. Even up to my death, I could still hear low tones and sudden loud sounds.

4. My First Symphony premiered in 1800, when I was 30. I would go on to compose nine major orchestral pieces in my lifetime. In 1803, I composed my Third Symphony, in honor of Napoleon Bonaparte, whom I greatly admired. But shortly after giving it the title, Bonaparte, I learned he had declared himself the Emperor of France. This ran contrary to the democratic and anti-monarchical ideals of the French Revolution, and in a rage I ripped his name from the title. It was renamed, Eroica.

3. My Fifth Symphony was the last piano concerto that I would compose. I composed it in Vienna in 1809, while Napoleon was besieging the city. To protect my deteriorating hearing from drums, cannonfire, shelling, and other loud war noises, I hid in a cellar much of the time, and covered my ears with pillows. However, by the time this symphony premiered in public in 1811, I had lost so much of my hearing, I could not perform at the piano. This symphony was given the title, The Emperor, by others, but I do not approve of this, because I did not like Napoleon.

2. I composed my final symphony, Symphony #9, while I was almost completely deaf. Critics have lauded it as one of the supreme achievements in the history of music. This is the first ever major symphonic composition that incorporated choral music, and the words to the music were taken from a poem by Friedrich Schiller, entitled Ode to Joy. It premiered in Vienna on May 7, 1824. In spite of my deafness, I insisted on helping the official conductor, but I didn’t know that he had instructed the musicians and singers to ignore me. I was still conducting after it ended, and had to be physically turned around to see the standing ovation my symphony was receiving.

1. Over my lifetime, I composed many famous musical pieces. I died on March 26, 1827, at age 56, and have been decomposing ever since. I was a heavy drinker during my life, much like my father. I was bedridden from an illness for three months before I died and ironically, my doctor treated this illness with alcohol. An autopsy revealed significant liver damage, so I probably succumbed to cirrhosis of the liver.

0. Still can’t guess my name? You can click on this link and read all about me on Wikipedia. But let’s face the music: you get zero points.

If you want to hear some of my music, here’s Lang Lang performing Für Elise, the short bagatelle I composed for a 19-year-old woman who rejected my marriage proposal:

The 10-Second Like

I like most every comment people make on my blog. At least for 10 seconds. After I read a comment, I usually hit the “Like” button. Then a white star below the comment turns blue, and the word “Like” changes to “Liked.” For 10 seconds. And then WordPress plays a trick on me. After 10 seconds, the blue star turns white again, and the “Liked,” turns back to “Like.”

I suspect it may be a bug in WP’s programming. I noticed it a few months ago, and since then I’ve patiently tolerated it, with occasional smoke pouring out of my ears, while expecting WP to fix this bug soon. But so far they haven’t fixed it. So lately I’ve been wondering if the programmers really want our likes to go away. Maybe WP doesn’t like us to like each other.

It doesn’t happen to posts. When I like someone’s post, my “Liked” remains a “Liked,” unless I decide, “meh, on the other hand, I’m gonna dislike this featherbrained post.” No, it only happens with comments. It’s crazy and confusing. So I did some playing around with liking comments, to figure out the scope of this issue, and what I can do about it. Here’s what I discovered:

  • It only happens when I’m on my own blog. It doesn’t happen when I’m on someone else’s blog and like a comment. There, the like remains “Liked.”
  • After I like a comment, and the “Liked” reverts back to “Like,” I can re-like the comment, and then the “Liked” remains permanent.
  • If the “Liked” reverts back to “Like,” and then I type a reply to the comment and hit “Send,” the “Like” returns to “Liked,” and remains permanent. Weird.
  • If I type a reply to a comment and hit “Send,” and then like the comment, the “Liked,” will revert back to “Like,” after 10 seconds.
  • If I unlike a comment, and then like it again, the “Liked” reverts back to “Like” after 10 seconds. And then I have to like it once more, to make “Liked” permanent.

I want to know if this bullshit has been happening to others, also. It’s easy not to notice, so you have to pay attention after liking someone’s comment. You have to hang around for 10 seconds, and watch what happens to your “Liked,” and I suspect a lot of bloggers are in too much of a hurry to do this. So, unbeknownst to them, their likes of comments are not going through, and not providing the positive feedback they hope their followers are receiving.

I feel annoyed, but it’s a minor annoyance. I’ve figured out a somewhat inconvenient workaround. If I have a bunch of unread comments stacked up, I go through and like each one, without reading them. Then I go back through again. By this time, all the “Liked” indicators have reverted back to “Like.” Then I read each comment. If I like a comment (which I almost always will), I hit the “Like” button again, and this time the “Liked” will remain permanent.

But it’s a pain in the ass. I dislike all this liking. I dislike liking, only to be disliking and having to like again. Come on, WP, get it together! Don’t you want us to like each other?

Three Bad Jokes Challenge

Merry Christmas! We’re Jack & Jenny Ass, the masscots of this pathetic blog. Here are three bad jokes we stole from some other jackasses. Your challenge is to read them without cracking a smile. Otherwise, you’ll get a kick out of us.

Bad Joke

Christmas as I understand it: Mary had Jesus. Jesus was the Lamb of God. So Mary had a little lamb.

Badder Joke

Riddle: What’s the difference between a snowman and a snow woman? Answer: Snowballs.

Baddest Joke

I asked a guy who owns a summer resort in Vermont, what he does for the winter. He said he stays busy with all the snowbirds. I said, “Snowbirds? In the winter?” He said, “Yeah, from Canada.”


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