Category: StolenQuotes

Quote Stealing Recidivist

To my mind, the only possible pet is a cow. Cows love you. They will listen to your problems and never ask a thing in return. They will be your friends forever. And when you get tired of them, you can kill and eat them. Perfect. ~ Bill Bryson, Author

I once had a bullshit feature on this blog, called “Stolen Quote,” where I wrangled quotes from wise guys and gals. I then added my own little wiseass comments in an effort to udderly destroy the quotes, like a stampeding cow.

Wait. Damn. I think I’ve been reading too many of Jason Frels’ cattle tails.

I won’t hide the fact that I got tired of it, after milking this feature for many years, and I’m sure it was chapping my followers, too. But lately, some of them have forgotten about all that, and tried to lasso me into restarting the feature.

This wasn’t my first rodeo. I could resist the pressure from those clowns. But then I got to remembering how much fun it is to steal quotes, and got to imagining greener pastures. It seems the best quotes are those that have been rustled from others. Coming up with my own wise things to say just ain’t my brand.

So I’ve come to a fork in the trail, and decided to go left. It ain’t my fault though, it’s the fault of the coronavirus, because after wearing a facemask this past month I’ve grown nostalgic for my old bandit days. That’s another reason why it didn’t take much spurring from my followers to bring back Stolen Quotes.

It won’t be a dairy daily feature though, as I’m gettin’ too trailworn in my old age to carry on like that. Which is good, because no one will be saddled with too much to read. It will just be filler when I don’t have nothin’ else to post about, and I’m bored, and my wife won’t fall for my cow eyes.

So now and then expect to find some Stolen Quotes in your reader corral. This quote stealing recidivist is riding the range again. Yee-haw!

Stolen Quote: My Last Theft

We need to do a better job of putting ourselves higher on our own “to do” list. ~ Michelle Obama, First Lady

This will be my last theft of a quote. I’m walking the strait and narrow from here out, and leaving alone the pearls of wisdom uttered by others.

My life has become a blivet bag. I’ve been trying to stuff 10 pounds of life into a 5 pound bag, and something has to give. And so I’ve decided to give up on the daily Stolen Quote.

It’s time I get my priorities straight, and put myself higher on my “to do” list, as Michelle Obama advises.

This blog will continue, but I won’t be posting on a daily basis anymore. I love sharing the unicorns that I catch, and I enjoy reading and responding to your comments. But the thing is, I need more time for the chase. Spending too much time on my Catching Unicorns blog can ironically keep me from catching unicorns.

This blog has also been remodeled. I do that from time to time in an effort to keep things unique and interesting. Unicorns love change, and hate constantly familiar surroundings. It’s hard to keep them captive in the same old, overgrazed pastures.

I hope you like the changes. If you have any suggestions for additional changes, please put them in the suggestion box. It’s located about one-inch past the right edge of your monitor.

Okay, okay, you can leave them in a comment.

My light-fingered ways can’t resist stealing just one more quote, so I’ll finish with this purloined gem, from Herman Melville’s Moby Dick:

The Pequod steeply leaned over towards the sperm whale’s head, now by counterpoise of both heads, she regained her even keel; though sorely strained, you may well believe. So, when on one side you hoist in Locke’s head, you go over that way; but now, on the other side, hoist in Kant’s and you come back again; but in very poor plight. Thus, some minds for ever keep trimming boat. Oh, ye foolish! Throw all these thunderheads overboard, and then you will float light and right.


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