Chasing Unicorns

Cranky Pants and JoyRoses13 have submitted a question, with a photo of two doors. Imagine you’re in a bar or restaurant, and have to use the restroom. You’ve asked where the restroom is, and have been pointed to these doors. You have to go really badly, and must make a split-second decision, based upon your gut instinct. Which door would you choose?

Which is which?

Cranky Pants and JoyRoses13 are up to no good. They’ve posed a question they want me to post. This question really insults men, and I’m acting like a traitor to my gender for posting it. But what the hell, it’s the first question that’s been submitted in a long time, so why not? I’m desperate. But I’m counting on the men who read this to give us some smartass responses that will show the women a thing or two. Here’s the question:

My wife has a question, and wants to benefit from the erudite wisdom and judgment of my followers. She doesn’t give a damn about my advice, but she does regard my followers as worthy of offering valuable counsel.

She has a friend who likes to visit us at our house. This friend typically visits for three to four hours before finally deciding it’s time to go home. By this time, my wife is sick and tired of her.

But not me. That’s because when her friend visits, I just retreat into my bedroom, put my noise-canceling headsets on, and read, blog, and do other solitary things in quiet serenity.

My wife envies my quiet serenity, and wants shorter visits so she can have some serenity also. But she wants to know how short is too short, and how long is too long. In short, how long is the ideal visit? Is there some sort of etiquette rule to this?

At what point is it best to give her friend the boot out the door? She needs answers, and any thoughts or suggestions would be welcome. Thanks!