Category: Blog

Chasing New Unicorns

Life is change, so if I want to keep this blog alive I need to change things up now and then. So I’ve found some new unicorns to chase.

Over the past few years I’ve been stealing quotes, and using them on days when I don’t have any other bullshit to post about. Which is most days. But too many stolen quotes can get about as old as the people I often steal from. So I’ve decided to create several new categories of filler posts, just to break things up and add variety to my bullshit.

This is all a work in progress. I believe in evolution, because I’m too lazy to be creative. So I’ll just let things evolve over time. But for now, here are some additional types of filler posts I’m considering, for your amusement:

Dumb Joke Day.
My Stupid Thought For the Day.
Cheeseburger Grilling Tips.
Weird Word Day.
Conversation Starters for Hitchhikers.
And maybe I’ll throw in a “Who the Hell Am I” game a little more often.

If you have any ideas you can add to this, please let me know. My legs get tired when I’m the only one who catches unicorns around here.

I’m not planning these new posts for any particular day of the week, such as something like, “Weird Word Wednesday.” No, that would be too weird. Besides, it would require too much commitment for a lazy blogger like me. These posts will just happen when they happen, appearing as if from thin air, with no rhyme or reason as to why. After all, that’s the nature of unicorns.

By the way, don’t worry, you quote lovers, Stolen Quote has not gone away completely. I love stealing quotes. I love it when someone else does the work and all I have to do is exercise my light fingers. So I’ll still be fencing purloined quotes on this blog every now and then. Just less often.

If you don’t like these changes, go ahead and pelt me with rotten eggs and tomatoes. You could catch me at a hungry moment.

But in the meantime, let’s jump out of a rut. Let’s turn over a new leaf. Let’s shake things up and blaze a new trail. Yes, let’s stop being so hackneyed and predictable. We must if we want to stay alive. Never forget that the real test for us unicorn chasers is how well we can handle change.

So starting tomorrow we’ll be putting on our running shoes, grabbing a lasso, and chasing after some new, one-horned beasts of an unfamiliar color, that have wandered into our forest.

Unicorns of an unfamiliar color are coming our way.

The Unicorn Clarified

Today is National Unicorn Day, which is always a day of celebration for my blog. I wish everyone a Happy Unicorn Day! And may we all be very successful catching unicorns today, and every day.

Newcomers to this blog may wonder what I mean by “unicorn,” and sometimes I worry they may get the wrong idea. So be advised, newbies, that I define a unicorn as anything that is unique. There are many other definitions that are quite valid elsewhere, but not here.

For instance, there’s the classic definition, of the mythical beast with one horn. And in fact, I use that beast as a symbol for uniqueness. But it’s just a symbol. It isn’t the uniqueness itself.

Other animals have also been called unicorns. For instance, there’s the Hercules beetle, which has a horn-like prominence on its head. And then there’s the Schizura unicornis caterpillar, which has a large horn sticking out of it’s back, near it’s head. And as for flying unicorns, there’s the Kamichi, or Unicorn Bird (also known as a Horned Screamer).

A pod of narwhals.

As for swimming unicorns, in the Arctic sea we have the narwhal, which has a single-horned tusk sticking out of it’s forehead. During medieval times, these tusks were often passed off as unicorn horns, and were considered to have magical properties.

In the swinger world, a unicorn is a polyamorous woman who loves threesomes, as such women are considered to be very rare.

Given that unicorns are often associated with rainbows, the unicorn has become a symbol of the LGBT+ community.

The unicorn label has been applied to a person with three or more skills, in a new field of expertise, or to any exceptional employee with rare qualities, just due to the rareness of such a worker.

And in finance, a unicorn is a startup company with a valuation of over one billion dollars, that has not gone public yet.

This is just a small sampling of the many ways the term “unicorn” has been bandied about. It seems to be a very versatile word.

Therefore, for the sake of clarity, let me emphasize that this blog is not about exotic animals, polyamorous women, the LGBT+ community, skilled employees, startup companies, or anything else, except where that thing is rare, novel, unusual, weird, odd, unheard-of, or otherwise unique.

So here’s wishing everyone many unique and enjoyable experiences on this National Unicorn Day!

Blogoholics Anonymous

“Uh . . . my name is T-Tippy. And . . . um . . .” This was so embarrassing. I looked toward my sponsor sitting in the front row. He smiled and nodded as if trying to encourage me. I continued, but it wasn’t easy. “Um . . . I’m a . . . um . . . I’m a blogoholic!”

I just blurted it out. I wanted to shrink into a tiny little mouse and scurry out of the room. But then, to my amazement, everyone in the audience smiled and said in unison, “Hello Tippy! Welcome to Blogoholics Anonymous!” That one bit of encouragement steadied me. I stood up a little straighter. My embarrassment drained away. I smiled, because I knew at that moment that they were one of me, and I was one of them. It was almost as good as getting three dozen likes on one of my posts.

I confessed my whole story. I told them how I’d started out blogging seven years ago. I testified to how harmless it felt , and how I rationalized to myself that this was the best way possible I could spend my time. And it was not much time. Just a little bit at first. Heck, I only posted once every couple of weeks. And I hardly ever commented on anyone else’s posts.

But then, little by little, I became entangled in the Gordian knot of blogging. I posted more and more frequently. My brain excogitated more and more often about what I could post next. I ventured into commenting more frequently on other blogs. And down the vortex I was swallowed. I tried resisting, but it was all for naught.

Eventually, every waking minute was monopolized by my blogging habit. If I wasn’t writing a post, I was thinking up a post. Or I was haunting my blogging buddies and trying to come up with a funny clever thing to say on every single one of their posts. Every single one!

Yes, I confessed this. I confessed it all. And you know what? They understood! It was like, been there done that for them. They shared their stories too, and I recognized the same blogging bug in them that I had been infected with.

At the end of the meeting my sponsor gave me a warm hug, and shook my hand. He told me how proud he was that I had finally taken that big step and admitted to being a blogoholic. He had other things to tell me too, but I couldn’t stand around talking much longer. I had to go, so I begged off learning these other things until the next meeting.

You see, I was so excited about this new experience at Blogoholics Anonymous, that I couldn’t wait to get home and write a post about it.

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