Hi! We’re Jack & Jenny Ass, the masscots of this pathetic blog. We’ve been happily married for many years, and want to wish you a Happy Valentine’s Day! We believe the secret to a happy marriage is being able to laugh at each other’s smartass remarks.
Here are three bad jokes we stole from some other jackasses. Your challenge is to read them without cracking a smile. Otherwise, you’ll get a kick out of us.
Bad Joke
I found a real nice Valentine’s Card that read, “You’re my one and only.” I bought a dozen.
Badder Joke
If love is blind, then marriage is a pair of glasses.
Baddest Joke
I once stayed at a motel with bed bugs. I saw two of them fall in love. And then they got married in the spring.
Categories: A Smartass Post
Chasing Unicorns 
Not a valentine enthusiast, hm? I have to admit I chuckled at the wedding in the spring.
LikeLiked by 2 people
My wife buys me candy on Valentine’s. So to that extent, I’m an enthusiast. I’m glad you liked the last joke, and that it didn’t bug you.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Some deeply romantic jokes this time. You must be in the Valentine-Hallmark mood today.
LikeLiked by 4 people
Yes. A certain someone puts me in that mood, with her sappy short stories.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Reminds me of a story about a guy working a maple syrup farm.
LikeLiked by 3 people
You can be assured that I won’t be writing about any maple syrup farm anytime soon, smartie!
LikeLiked by 3 people
You might find that this idea sticks with you and you waffle on this decision
LikeLiked by 3 people
😶🤚!
Oh help!
LikeLiked by 3 people
Maybe the Cupid will find a maple syrup farmer that is a perfect match for Jenny. Jenny would immediately become sweet on him. That could be a very romantic ending to your rainbow mountain story and it doesn’t even need a cowbell to work.
LikeLiked by 2 people
A romantic ending, yes, and to think that the romance sabatoger is suggesting it. But I feel pretty certain that if I took your advice I would hesr more sappy, sweet, maple syrup puns. Righr? So maybe it will just be a mystery as to who Cupid matches Jenny up with.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’m starting to agree with you. Any story about a maple syrup farm is likely to fall flat as a pancake.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Smartass! 😜
LikeLiked by 2 people
Why not? You never know what could branch off from a story like that.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ll bet he had a lot of sappy stories to tell.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😂 Glad to know that I am helping to melt your cold heart.
LikeLiked by 3 people
So now I can act like a drip.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oooh is that just an act?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, it beats dribbling.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yep… Those squeaky motel springs can certainly bug everyone.
LikeLiked by 3 people
They can. But it’s also a very romantic noise, when you think about it.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Especially if you are in an hourly hotel.
LikeLiked by 3 people
😶🤚!!
LikeLiked by 2 people
My favorite kind.
LikeLiked by 2 people
🙄
LikeLiked by 2 people
I see Cupid’s arrow struck, and put you in a sweet, Valentine’s mood. 😉
Don’t let your wife know that you bought a dozen cards or she may take back whatever she got you for Valentine’s Day
I may have cracked a smile at the bedbug one. LOL!
LikeLiked by 3 people
A dozen cards might be perfect if your spouse has multiple personality disorder.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Oh gosh! Sooo how many cards did you get? 😉
LikeLiked by 2 people
With any luck, my wife won’t read my blog today. And then everything will be romantic for us, and I’ll get to keep the candy she gave me.
LikeLiked by 2 people
You may want to eat as much as you can first. 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
I always do. That way no one else can get it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Smart! I am trying to let my box of chocolates last til fhe end of the week. LOL!
LikeLiked by 3 people
I hope you have a good hiding spot.
LikeLiked by 2 people
My problem is that I’m the person who I need to hide them from. 😛
LikeLiked by 2 people
😄
LikeLiked by 2 people
Sounds like a fun challenge.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Your box of valentine chocolates stands about as much chance of lasting as your Christmas peppermint bark did.
LikeLiked by 3 people
I once had peppermint bark on Christmas. Not only did she bark, but she also bit me.
LikeLiked by 3 people
You must still smell like a postman.
LikeLiked by 3 people
I have a rather large nose, so I smell like anyone can.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Groan!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Pftttt! You of little faith … we will see. I will be eating chocolates at the end of the week, and you humble pie. LOL!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Is that much like shoofly pie?
LikeLiked by 2 people
Its not sweet like shoofly pie,in fact I would say it probably leaves a sour taste in your mouth … you will have to let me know. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Where did that post with the three bad jokes for today go??
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t know. I guess the joke’s on all of us.
LikeLiked by 1 person