Hi! We’re Jack & Jenny Ass, the masscots of this pathetic blog. Here are three bad jokes we stole from some other jackasses. Your challenge is to read them without cracking a smile. Otherwise, you’ll get a kick out of us.
Bad Joke
Two psychiatrists are introduced to each other. They both say, “You’re fine, how am I?”
Badder Joke
A fat guy walks into a bakery and orders a dozen donuts. The clerk says, “For here or to go?”
Baddest Joke
The chemical formula for banana is BaNa2.
Categories: A Smartass Post
Chasing Unicorns 
Replace donut shop with breakfast taco shop and I might be the butt of that joke.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Sounds to me like you have a weakness. If you were a cop, you couldn’t be bribed with donuts. But maybe with a breakfast taco.
LikeLiked by 2 people
They would probably double-cross me by leaving the “steak out”
LikeLiked by 3 people
That could leave you with egg on your face.
LikeLiked by 2 people
LOL! And groan!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Okay… I chuckled at #2. But I’m with Jason on that one.
US Department of Energy data-sheet on BaNa2. The DOI links to a Materials Explorer applet showing how it crystalizes into yellow and green hexagons. 😉
https://www.osti.gov/dataexplorer/biblio/dataset/1188401
LikeLiked by 1 person
I didn’t realize that it was an actual molecular structure, with its own website. That’s bananas.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I think it’s just a crystalline compound. I’m not a chemist; but I can imagine the stuff is just ripe for a nasty fire!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m no chemist either. All I remember from chemistry is that you never add water to acid. Rather, you add acid to water. Otherwise, kaboom!
LikeLiked by 2 people
You can’t add either Barium or Sodium to water. They’d strip the oxygen out of the water molecules and produce (explosive) hydrogen gas (and a lot of heat). I’d hate to be the firefighter who arrives with the water hose! Yeah… Kaboom! BaNaNa everywhere!
Here you go:
LikeLiked by 2 people
So if you’re getting a barium enema, make sure there’s no water in your bowels.
LikeLiked by 2 people
That’s going to be hard to un-see.
😶🤚!!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Oh gosh I feel the same way! And am cracking up that you used my emoji!! 😂
LikeLiked by 2 people
I think it’s a copyright infringement. You should sue her.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Haha!! I was thinking at how I should patent it! But hey maybe that’s how I can come into my large amount of money, by suing her. 😄
LikeLiked by 2 people
That would be an interesting trial. Instead of a courtroom artist, they could just use emojis.
LikeLiked by 2 people
😄 Yes!
But actually I can’t sue, for I am honored that after only 1001 times of using my emoji, that it has finally worn off on someone!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yeah, it’s catching on. Keep at it, and in about 50 years the whole country will be using it.
LikeLiked by 2 people
My life goal! 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Well then, I’m seeing a pretty complicated lawsuit. I’ll have my emoji contact your emoji.
ᕙ( ︡’︡益’︠)ง Q(‘⌒´Q)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Darn, my emoji is drunk. 🥴 He told me he could handle the case, but I think he meant case of beer.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sorry about the copyright infringement. It just seemed appropriate, and I was just about to head out for groceries with that exploding Barium image in my head.
（´艸｀）
LikeLiked by 2 people
Actually, she stole the idea for that emoji from me.
LikeLiked by 2 people
☺☺ Thats right, it was you that suggested it. Wellll….being that you are largely responsible for my “head smacks ” I don’t feel bad about “stealing” the emoji. 😛
LikeLiked by 2 people
That’s okay. You paid me for it with $100 gold bills.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Oh yes, I did! You were paid well, because I am so kind!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Kind of nutty.
LikeLike
Pftttttt!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are fine. I just warn you that it may become addicting now. And I hope you were able to grocery shop without that image in your brain! Fortunately I did mine before I read that comment. 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
I heard about a guy that happened to. They ended up having to bury’m
LikeLiked by 3 people
And by coincidence, his name was Barry M. Schitz.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Enough of these elementary puns
LikeLiked by 3 people
I agree. It seems somehow they come up, periodically.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Haha on the 1st one!
If they were cream fillled donuts, I would take a dozen! But “To go!” 😋
I think “Bananas!” 🤪 describes us all pretty well!
LikeLiked by 2 people
What if they were coffee-filled donuts?
I think “bananas” could describe a bunch of people.
LikeLiked by 1 person
If they were coffee cream filled, oh yes!
“Haha!” On the “bunch ” of people, doolally!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Figures you’d like something like that. Yech.
I thought my joke would be a-peeling.
LikeLiked by 2 people
🙄
LikeLiked by 1 person
You would take them to go so you could go eat them in a secluded place to hide your shame?
LikeLiked by 2 people
“Haha!” Smartie! Not quite!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I would only hide my shame, if I was drinking black ☕ coffee, Depriving my taste buds of sweetness. 😄
LikeLiked by 2 people
One day you’ll join the dark side.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Riiiight! I probably have more chance of winning the lottery. 😄
LikeLiked by 2 people
Appreciating black coffee is a lot like winning the lottery
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hmmm….OK! Good to know. When I win the lottery and share with my friends, I will buy you some black coffee ☕ and say Congrats on winning the lottery! 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Personally, I believe that winning the lottery is a lot like appreciating money.
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL! I appreciate my money thats why I don’t spend it on lottery tickets. So don’t hold your breath about me winning. But if I come into a lot of money some other way I may share a little with you and black coffee for Jason.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You could just send Tippy more gold stars
LikeLiked by 2 people
Very true! I think he would appreciate those more. He told me before that he collects them.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I only collect the ones made of 24-karat gold.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oooh, well that may be a problem!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, get busy solving it. I think you’re smart enough to handle a little problem like that.
LikeLike
I can go for that. As long as they’re made of real gold.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Define “little.”
LikeLiked by 1 person
Little means small, as in small amount. I am sure I could afford a crisp, shiny $5 bill for you
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pffffft!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sounds good!
LikeLiked by 2 people
LOL! So glad that you are easy to please!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Well, ordinarily I wouldn’t expect anything if you won the lottery, but free coffee! That’s unexpected.
LikeLiked by 2 people
You have a point, can’t deny it. Unexpected gifts are always nice. Its a langniappe! (Tippy should be so proud at how I use the words he teaches us.)
LikeLiked by 1 person
How can I feel proud when you still don’t know how to spell it?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oops! ☺ Someday I may get it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
L-a-g-n-i-a-p-p-e.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The important thing is that I know the meaning of the word!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think so, too. Because when you use it, I get a good laugh at your spelling.
LikeLike
Pftttt! Smartass!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Because of this conversation I had to buy some donuts today. It had been awhile since I had any. But no I didn’t find a secluded place to hide and eat them all.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I pigged out on cheese and crackers, which I am now regretting. Going to have to get back on the diet wagon tomorrow.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Cheese 🧀 is sooo hard to not eat too much of! Why can’t it have like zero calories?
LikeLiked by 1 person
And in that spirit, how many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? Just the one, but the lightbulb REALLY needs to want to change 😛
LikeLiked by 2 people
😄
LikeLiked by 1 person
Heh-heh, that’s a good one. And I’ll bet it’s harder, the more screwed up the lightbulb.
LikeLiked by 1 person