Unicorn States of America.
A Smartass Post
Coaching is nothing more than eliminating mistakes before you get fired.
Lou Holtz, American Football Coach
I thought it was about making as much money as possible before you get fired.
Categories: A Smartass Post
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Chasing Unicorns 
I thought it was fishing for coaches.
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Alright, I’ll bite. What do you mean?
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Well if you’ve bitten, you already know. Now I just have to wind you in.
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Yikes. Looks like I’ve fallen for your line.
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Yup, complete with hook and sinker.
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It’s not my fault. You baited me.
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Indeed, and now you really are on the hook eh!
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And I’m floundering.
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Not surprised. Now just wait to be put on a plate and served with fries.
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Now I’m suspicious. This is all sounding a little fishy.
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Nah. Just a load o’ Cod.
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Reminds me of the time I went to an English restaurant and ordered fish and chips. I got fish and french fries. Don’t the English know the difference between a potato chip and french fry?
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Didn’t you know their history with France? Never order french-fries because a/. They will be offended that you are recognizing something supposedly French, and b/. you just set yourself up as an American.
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Ah, I see. I guess there are still some hard feelings leftover from the Seven Years’ War.
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……. and the Channel Tunnel that was not particularly wanted.
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Oh yes, the Chunnel. I think that would be fun to drive through.
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Bloody suicidal if you ask me. It’s rail only!
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I thought it was for cars, too. My bad. I guess the Chunnel allows you to be ridden out of your country on a rail.
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……. and to France at that. 🙂
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Or perhaps a Chinese individual named Co Ching?
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Meh. You’re going to have to give me five pushups and two laps for that one.
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Five pushups no problem, but whose laps are you interested in?
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I’m not interested in anyone’s laps, having gotten over that phase many years ago.
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Okay. Then consider them done.
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I believe he is related to my Chinese mechanic, Tai-Ming Chain.
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Or that rather light handed relative Wan King,, or even his lop sided brother Won Hung Lo
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That reminds me of my Spanish friend who was a bull fighter, Gordon Diáz
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😄
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Bulls can be horny devils eh!
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Did he know Igor the bull?
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Or perhaps when you unexpectedly come into money CaChing!
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Another lap for you.
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One lap around the couch/coach completed.
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Good job. Now give me another one.
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That’s two laps that you don’t want. I am confused.
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I thought so. Looks like you’ll be warming the bench next game, until you get your head screwed on straight.
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I have a heated bench so it doesn’t need warming, and my head is attached by some cunning creation of nature. No screws involved. I think you are getting me confused with somebody else.
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Dammit. Judging by your vocabulary, you read books. It’s hard to coach someone like that.
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Not really … just throw the book at them. Should make quite the impact.
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And then they might play so well, we’ll win the title.
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That’s says it all .. Chapter & Verse.
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Or perhaps a mutual ache …. Co-Aching?
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Ten laps.
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As a coach … can you count that high?
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You don’t want to know how high I can count. Let’s go for 20 laps now.
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Done.
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That was too easy. Now I want a handspring, 10 jumping jacks, and a barrel roll.
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Done, and I threw in a few trapeze moves just to spice things up for you.
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Good. I think you’re on to becoming the athlete of the year.
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You get to scream obscenities at a large group of enormous men, any of which could kill you with his bare hands.
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That would be great. What a power trip. Although I wonder how many coaches get the shit kicked out of them by an outraged player.
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So coaches don’t travel in coach… before they get fired, anyway.
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And after they’re fired, their coach is a Greyhound bus.
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Or a pumpkin.
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After reading through all these comments I am tired ,with all the exercises you had Colin do.
I am ready tp sit back and enjoy a ride in a pumpkin coach.
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Okay Cinderella. But it will be a little wait, as the pumpkin coach doesn’t stop here until midnight.
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Thats more than a little wait! But its okay, I will be awake and waiting. 🙂
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I found a glass slipper, and see that you’re missing one. Why don’t you try it on and see if it fits? Oh wait, this is an aquarium.
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😶🤚!!
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So… What’s your favorite quote from Ted Lasso? 🙂
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I’ve never seen Ted Lasso.
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You’re missing so many exquisite quotes that you could leverage here (he was a football coach turned soccer coach), and Roy Kent, one of the characters in the show, I think, would be particularly appealing to you 😀
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Well, until it shows up on Netflix or Amazon Prime, I’ll have to miss out on this golden gem of a show. I’ve heard about it before, though, and I understand it’s won some awards.
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It’s an AppleTV show, so it may be a while. It won a recommendation award from me. Does that count? 😀
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Of course that counts. Who needs Rotten Tomatos when we have Endless Weekend?
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