My Ballot

The infamous “butterfly ballot” from Florida, that allegedly cost Al Gore the presidential election in 2000.

I recently got my sample ballot in the mail. So now I must decide by November 8th, who to vote for in the midterm election.

I’m an independent, with no loyalty to any political party. But unlike many independents, I don’t base my vote on the quality of individual candidates. That’s because I believe that whoever wins will be a rubber stamp to the political machine that owns them.

Rather, I vote for parties over individuals, and choose the party that seems the least insane at the time of an election. I believe all political parties are nuts. So I want the party to win that’s the least nuts, because I presume they will do the least amount of damage to us.

For instance, it doesn’t matter to me that our Democratic candidate for governor, Gavin Newsom, is a hypocritical, snobbish, moronic imbecile, trying to impose communism on California while taking away all of our human rights, and dragging our economy down to Third World status, while outlawing gas-powered cars.

Nor do I care that his Republican opponent, Brian Dahle, is a cowardly loser and Trump-supporting election-denier, who nobody takes seriously, can’t get any media coverage either good or bad, and who will likely be buried by Newsom in a landslide large enough to level Mt. Whitney.

No, I’m just voting for the political party that seems the least crazy at this moment in time.

So I got on the internet and researched the sanity of the parties. Here’s what I discovered:

If I vote Democratic, I will be voting for China, socialism, runaway inflation, high taxes, homelessness, Satan, MSNBC, violent suppression of dissent, political persecution, censorship, science-denial, return to the Stone Age, gain-of-function lab leaks, Dr. Fauci, white guilt, reverse discrimination, open borders, child grooming, gender confusion, influence peddling, rampant crime, the murder of unborn babies, and the elevation of elite leaders at the expense of the powerless.

But if I vote Republican, I will be voting for Russia, fascism, destruction of our democratic institutions, one-party rule, Trump, FOX News, insurrection, misinformation, hate speech, science-denial, climate-change Armageddon, the spread of Covid, white supremacy, racism, child abuse, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, MAGA, QAnon (whatever the hell that is), gun violence, forced pregnancies, and the enrichment of billionaires at the expense of the poor.

Hmm, how to decide . . . how to decide . . .

This was a lot for me to digest. But I did a little more research and found that if I tell anyone I voted Democratic, I will be hounded by white supremacists, who will burn a cross on my front yard. But if I tell anyone I voted Republican, I will be doxxed, then investigated by the FBI for hate crimes and insurrection.

Therefore, I have decided to keep my ballot secret.

Categories: Politics

61 replies »

  1. I’m counting how many negative ads I get, then assuming the party that can afford to clog my mailbox and phone answering machine with more of those ads is receiving too much money and is therefor the more corrupt and doesn’t deserve my vote.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Please write my name in.

    My international diplomatic policy will be entirely pun-based. If a national leader cannot make bad puns, we will not be shipping him any weapons. I will also learn to speak both Mexican and Canadian to support our neighbors. I think that this mainly involves learning to say stuff like “Que pasa, ‘ey?”

    There will be no death penalty while I am president except in cases in which someone habitually cruises slowly in the left lane.

    I will triple the size of every national park and every bear that kills a stupid park visitor will get a free picnic basket.

    I am frankly tired of all the states in New England being basically the size of a county in Texas. I think I will merge them all with Puerto Rico.

    I will push for a law that states that any politician who delivers a speech longer than 3 minutes must do so with his or her pants or skirt around his or her ankles.

    Oh, and we should build a moon city.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. It’s a shame that voting has come to this. I still remember when our Conservative party in Canada was just right of centre and our Liberal party was just left of centre. I guess if you are more moderate in this political climate, your voice struggles to get heard over the blustering, chest-thumping, finger-pointing and rah-rah false patriotism.


    Liked by 3 people

  4. I feel there can be a form of vote-suppression through voting methodology. The American [and Canadian] First Past The Post electoral system barely qualifies as democratic rule within the democracy spectrum.

    FPTP does seem to serve corporate lobbyists well, however. I believe it is why power/corporate interests generally resist attempts at changing from FPTP to proportional representation electoral systems of governance, the latter which dilutes corporate influence.

    Low-representation FPTP-elected governments, in which a relatively small portion of the country’s populace is actually electorally represented, are likely the easiest for lobbyists to manipulate or ‘buy’.

    As it is, corporate lobbyists actually write bills for our [Canada’s] governing representatives to vote for and have implemented, supposedly to save the elected officials their own time. I believe the practice has become so systematic here that those who are aware of it (that likely includes mainstream news-media political writers) don’t bother publicly discussing it.

    Regardless, powerful business interests can, and sometimes do, debilitate our high-level elected officials through implicit or explicit threats to transfer or eliminate jobs and capital investment, thus economic stability, if corporate ‘requests’ aren’t accommodated. … All of this does not result from truly democratic rule.

    Liked by 1 person

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