Travel

A Plethora of Pillows

We recently went on a road trip, which I will be posting about in a few days. But first I have a gripe to get off my chest.

On our road trip, we rented hotel rooms and a cabin. The hotel room was typical. It sported a couple of middlebrow paintings on the walls, a TV, mini-fridge, desk, chair, and two queen-size beds. And on both queen-size beds was something that was also typical. They each had four pillows.

Who needs four pillows?!

Who the hell needs four pillows on a bed?

My wife always gets the bed next to the air conditioner. I hate air conditioning, and have bad memories of shivering all night while she snored in comfort. So we’ve worked it out where I always get the bed that’s furthest away from the a/c.

I was exhausted from a long drive, and tried to lay down on my assigned bed. But I couldn’t, because of all the damned pillows that were in the way. So I spread them out on the surface of the bed and tried to lay over the top of them, assuming that this was some sort of decadent luxury that hotels were promoting. But no matter how I arranged those beastly pillows, I couldn’t find a comfortable platform. Instead it felt lumpy, and the pillows contorted my back into stressful positions.

Finally I gave up and pulled three of these torture devices off the bed and dumped them on the floor. But pillows take up a lot of floor space, and can be a dangerous trip hazard. I had to be careful after my post-peripatetic nap, to keep the soft-pawed monsters from grabbing my ankles, sending me to the floor, and perhaps dragging me under the bed. As has happened in some nightmares.

Fortunately, I only had to deal with those pillow monsters for one night. The next day, we arrived at our short-term rental cabin. I figured that now we would be roughing it, away from the inutile annoyances of modern amenities, such as pillows.

But as I stumbled through the front door on dog-tired feet, my visions of austerity were shattered. I was greeted by a main room equipped with a love seat and futon. And on this furniture poised the menacing, square-shaped, puffy forms of a half-dozen scatter cushions.

“Never mind, I’ll just lay on the bed,” I murmured to myself. But in the bedroom, atop our queen-size bed, I was accosted by an artful arrangement of no less than eight fancy, colorful pillows. I stared aghast at those damnable, fluffy gremlins, and they seemed to gaze right back at me, taunting me with muffled, sinister laughter.

They had me over a barrel. My wife, you see, loves pillows. I was taking a chance when I rounded up those feathery imps and 86’d them to the futon in the main room. Would she object? No, thank God. Even she, of the fairer and softer sex, appreciated what a pain-in-the-ass a plethora of pillows presents.

Categories: Travel

84 replies »

  1. (Ignoring the 6:32 am post)

    I am also baffled by the number of pillows on a bed in “decorated spaces”. But now that I get to sleep all by myself – HOW WONDERFUL – I seem to enjoy using two pillows while I sleep with a cpap hose to my nose. One is for propping me on my side, the other is for covering the hose leading to my face so my arms have a place to rest.

    I usually tuck the other two on the floor for the floor monster to sleep and leave me alone. I am the bed nearest the a/c as well, when traveling with family.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I thought about sending in a question about this very topic. Women don’t seem to be happy until the entire bed, sofa, love seat, any other furniture is covered with pillows. You go to sit on the couch and first you have to decide what to do with the 4 or 5 pillows that are already there. I know better than to sit on the pillows, and I am not supposed to throw them on the floor (even though they are called “throw pillows”), so one piece of furniture collects all of the superfluous pillows from the others so that people can actually use the furniture for its intended purpose of butt-parking. It’s either that or sit on the floor and if I sit on the floor there is soon a dog next to me that needs petting.

    Liked by 4 people

  3. Pillows on hotel beds never suit me. I bring my own and set all theirs aside in a corner or closet, out of my way. It is supposed to look luxurious, I guess. The only being in our house who uses throw pillows is kitty, as repositories for his excess fur, concentrated lumps of allergens for the rest of us.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I have four “sleeping “ pillows on my bed, using the extras to prop me up in bed while I’m reading. When it’s lights out, I shove the extra two to the side of the bed. Got rid of decorative bed pillows long ago, they’re useless!!

    Liked by 1 person

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