Hi! We’re Jack & Jenny Ass, the masscots of this pathetic blog. Here are three bad jokes we stole from some other jackasses. Your challenge is to read them without cracking a smile. Otherwise, you’ll get a kick out of us.
Bad Joke
When you’re eating, it’s hard to have a 10-second rule when you have a 3-second dog.
Badder Joke
Most people are ignorant and apathetic. But even if they knew that, they wouldn’t care.
Baddest Joke
Have you ever noticed that if you read between the lines, every book seems the same?
Categories: A Foolish Filler Day
Chasing Unicorns 
You may need a bigger hat. I laughed at all of these, though the 3rd one did elicit a GROAN from me also!
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Okay, here’s my bigger hat: 🎩. And here’s your kick:🦵.
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I fed some food to Jenny and Jack, so they didn’t kick me. We have an understanding between us.
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You’re smart. They’re suckers for free handouts.
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Yup, no kicks for me. 🙂
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Not even a donkey bite?
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Heyyy….tbey can’t bite the hand that feeds them!
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Oh yes they can. And they do.
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…mmm…!!
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If you can read between the lines, is that called being interlinearliterate? And I guess if you can’t read between the lines you are ilinterlinearliterate. I am envious of German for their really long words and I am trying to do my part for English.
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You really, really don’t have to do your part, it could cause my head to hurt!
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If I decided what to comment based on whether or not it would make your head hurt, I wouldn’t have much to say on here.
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Haha smartie! But some things don’t make my head hurt as much as others. There are varying degrees of pain.
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If you can read between the lines, then you are white-spatially oriented. If you can’t read between the lines, then you are near-sighted. But I’ll admit that your attempt to create long words is wunderbar.
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So, perhaps I am not hypersubtextualcognizant as I can generally only read the what’s on the lines.
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True. Nor are you hypersupertextualcongnizant. Though you could be hyposubtextual/supertextualcognizant.
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I think I am unterhyposubtextually disuncongizantic; to put things in laymen’s terms.
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How nice of you to try and simplify things. I would be more impressed if you could actually pronounce your “wunderbar” words!
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I speak eggsellent texmex-german
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PUNderhead!
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Oh, you mean laiensprache terms?
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I don’t usually go in for kinky stuff like that.
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“Usually”? So just when you’re in the mood?
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Depends on how much spaghetti I have had.
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I would say the term doolally really fits right now, noodle brain!
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😶🤚!
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LOL! Get me an ice pack.
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One eisbeutel, coming up.
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eisbeutel?
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It’s German for “ice pack.” Don’t you know we’re speaking German today?
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Of course, I had forgotten for a moment. Make it two ice packs!
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Gut! Zwei eisbeutel.
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Dogs do seem to develop a sense for who the sloppiest eater in the house is.
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So your dogs sit by you at meal times?
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Very little of my food fails to make it into my maw and the dogs know better that to fight me for what doesn’t
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Poor dogs!
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Poor dogs? If you knew those lazy, overfed, fur shedding, things, you wouldn’t call them poor. They live a better life than I do.
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They may be overfed but I am sure that they still try charm you with their giant,pitiful puppy dog eyes!
And yes, we have long decided that our next dog will not be haired! I am constantly vacuuming up hair.
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Oh, does all that dog hair have you furhoodled?
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I regret teaching you all that word, PUNderhead. And no, not quite, its just good that she has such a sweet nature! 🙂
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I went outside yesterday and brushed a big pile of fur off of both of my dogs in hopes of reducing the shedding in the house. They seem to have an unlimited supply of loose fur though.
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Yes, unlimited supply for sure!
Our next dog will be a Boston Terrier. Wonderful personality and their hair is so short that you barely notice it.
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You could name it ‘Tippy’
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😂 Aww! Poor Tippy!
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Thank you. About time I got some sympathy.
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Should I include a poem for you in my story tonight?
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That would be very sweet of you. Yes.
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Ooh you would say yes, wouldn’t you! That wasn’t the answer I was counting on.
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Might I suggest a limerick you can use?
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Go ahead, I have my ice pack ready.
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It starts off . . . “There once was a man from Nantucket . . .”
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Haha! I don’t know if I can make that fit into my story.
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Okay, how about this one:
There once was a man from California
Who had a big, rupturing, sore hernia.
He let out a shout
Before the contents sprayed out,
“Jump back! And don’t say I didn’t forewarn ya’.”
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😶🤚! Ummm….yeah, I don’t rhink I will be using that one either! Pretty confident that there won’t be a poem or limerick in my story tonight. Sorry.
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Well, heck. I tried.
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Yss, you do get a gold star for effort! ⭐
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Ah, thank you.
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Its because I am so kind, remember that.
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Thanks for reminding me. I had forgotten.
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You are welcome! I will try to remind you often.
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About what?
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Pftttt!!
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Only three-legged dogs should be named Tippy.
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Especially if all three legs are in the front
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I had to paws, to think about that one.
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Groaning!
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😄
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Yes, you can always tell a slob by the pack of dogs they’re surrounded by.
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Or the clothing designed to camouflage food stains.
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Or the clothing that no longer needs any camouflage.
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My idea for a line of spaghetti print shirts and ties is starting to look promising.
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Talking about food. I am making falafels for supper, does that make you hungry?
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That would be great attire for Italian restaurant dining.
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No dog. But the ants have become pretty assertive lately.
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They want to eat too!
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I had a rather heavy aunt who liked to eat.
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Aren’t you “funnny!”
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Actually, she was a step-aunt. And everyone was careful to keep her from stepping on their toes.
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Shaking my head! LOL!
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I think ants have a 5-second rule. It’s uncanny how quickly they can find a crumb.
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I figure that if I drop dead in the kitchen, there’s be nothing but bones left within 48-hours. And the carpenter ants would probably make short order of those.
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Carpenter ants are only a danger if you’re laid out on a level.
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Nothing level in my home… they must be Protestants.
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Now that I think about it, they’re probably just non-union carpenter aunts.
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Oh, scab aunts. I hate scabs. They really cross the line.
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Seems like a lot of protestors aren’t on the level these days.
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