Woof! I mean, hi! I’m Dolly Lollipalooza Gnu, the cutest wiener dog anyone ever knew. I’m the latest edition to the Gnu family. Yep, the Gnu monsters came over to my house, yanked me from my mother’s tit, shelled out some funny looking green paper stuff, then dragged me over to their house. So now I guess I’m a Gnu.
They don’t know it yet, but the Gnu household is about to undergo a big, gigantic, transformation. I may look cute, but I’m hell on wheels. Before you know it, I’ll be chewing up their furniture and anything else I can sink my sharp little teeth into. And I’ll be chasing their cat, and shitting and pissing all over their nice floors.
Yep, I’ll be a’rippin’ and a’tearin’!
Once in awhile I’ll dash between their legs and make a great escape out the front door. Then the race will be on. They’ll be chasing me up and down the street while hollering, “Dolly Lollipalooza Gnu! Come here!! Get over here, you damned dog!!!” And their neighbors will be laughing their heads off.
I’ll probably bite their house guests. And I’ll whine all night, because I still miss my mother, that wonderful milk-sack-of-a-bitch. She had such lovely, succulent nipples. Or, suckable nipples. But I don’t get that stuff anymore. Now it’s all solid food for me. Oh, for the good ol’ days, when I was just a baby!
My picture gets taken a lot, but I rarely hold still for one. So only about one out of every 57 photos is worthy of saving. But aren’t these just the darndest, cutest pictures of me?!
I have one question. Do you think I’m cute enough to sleep with?
Categories: Pets
Chasing Unicorns 
Of course she’s cute enough to sleep with! Just keep her above covers, as she can be squished.
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Dolly says that’s good advice. And besides, when she’s above the covers she can get into more mischief.
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Put your shoes and your belts in a safe place. Dogs instinctively know which shoes are the most expensive and will dig through a pile of old sneakers to find them.
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Dolly says for you to keep quiet about that. She loves fine-dining on expensive footwear, and you’re going to ruin that for her.
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Fine dining on a shoe-string budget?
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Shoe strings are okay, but she prefers sole food.
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Well, don’t let her eat clogs.
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No, I leave those for the termites.
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Groan!
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“Haha!”
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Totally cute enough to sleep with. The question is though for how long and what quality of sleep? Those tiny dogs may try to fool you but they take up just as much room on the bed as dogs 5 times their size. Oh yes, they are total bed hogs!!!
Deb
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Dolly says that’s not her problem. Her masters will just have to get a bigger bed.
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Welcome, Dolly Gnu! Tippy, your baby is adorable! Of course she should be allowed in your bed. All pups chew, but my Tailor was the KING of chewing, throughout his puppyhood and for years afterward. Like, all eleven years he spent above the daisies. He was the inspiration for this post and poem: https://justjoan42.wordpress.com/2016/03/06/if-you-are-what-you-eat/
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Wow, it appears Tailor ate everything. Maybe he wanted to be one with the universe. Funny poem.
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Oooh she is freaking adorable! She will have you all wrapped around her paw in no time. So yes, she will definitely be on the bed. Fluff up her pillow. 🙂
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Oh yeah, she’s already the queen of the house as far as we’re concerned. But one of our dogs doesn’t like this much. She’s very insecure and doesn’t like all the attention we’re giving this little newcomer. I guess there will be an adjustment period.
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Yes, it will take some time. We have gone through that before with our dogs. And if they see her sleeping on your bed, you may have more than just her sharing the bed!
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That’s already happened. There has been competition for bed space, with a little bit of growling involved.
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You are lucky just to have growling, we had snapping at times.
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I heard some snapping once, myself. At first I checked our flower bed, to see if it might be our snapdragons. Then I checked my knees, because they snap a lot. But I guess it was our bitchy bitch dog, establishing her dominance.
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Oh gosh! LOL!
We learned that Yorkie’s really rule the roost. She even intimidates our Sheltie who is 3x her size!
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Those little ankle biters intimidate me, too. Seems the smaller the dog, the more aggressive they tend to be.
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That does tend to be true with the real small breeds like Yorkies and Chihuahuas.
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Were you the one growling?
We crate trained Lowryder so it’s one thing he never really did was go in the house unless it was someone else’s hour or chew.
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Look, I have to growl in order to fight off the beasts in our house that want me to share my wife. They’ve had to learn, after several dust-ups, that I’m the alpha male of the house.
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I believe that. But you know that you’ll never win against a doxie.
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They’re persistent little bastards, that’s for sure.
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They sure are. Ours had us more trained then I knew. I thought I knew.
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But all the pee on the floor gets blamed on the new dog so anything goes.
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Well not quite yet, because we tell who did or didn’t do it by the size of the puddle.
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It’s not the size of the dog in the puddle, but the size of the puddle in the dog.
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Oh help!
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I think he’s the one who needs help.
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I agree! How smart…. of you. I think he got too much sleep last night, he has been on a roll!
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That sounds very wise and philosophical. I shall contemplate this koan as I mop up another puddle of urine.
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Cuteness is so deceptive. She is cute though. Congrats!
Nope I’m so glad we or should I say I wouldn’t Lowryder in our bed. He had major anal gland issues.
Enjoy the umm… chaos, I mean cuteness.
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Anal gland issues? Yuck! I’m glad my wife and I sleep in separate beds.
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Yep! It’s disgusting.
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We have a chihuahua with that issue. She scoots her ass all over the floor sometimes. Yeesh.
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Yuck! Lowryder would leak a lot of it for years. He almost had them removed it was so bad, they got infected all the time too, but the cost was insane.
When he went on the immune suppressants for his autoimmune disease it stopped happening so then I realized it was the disease causing that too.
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That’s a disgusting medical condition, although the poor dog couldn’t help it. I’ll have to cross my fingers and hope our new puppy doesn’t get that issue.
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It’s really the worst smell ever. Here’s hoping your new girl doesn’t grace you with it. Lol
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I will sleep with you. And I will even bring you a heartbeat toy to comfort you, so you can sleep after I leave.
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Dolly says: “Sounds great. I hope you won’t mind if I chew that heartbeat toy to pieces.”
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That’s what cute puppies are for!!
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Heh-heh. I get the sense you would spoil our dog.
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Whooo, meeeee???
I spoil all pets! We wouldn’t be able to have a convo because I’d be paying attention to (long name) Gnu!!
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Best of luck with the newest member of the Gnu family. I think she deserves a stuffed unicorn to play with…
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She is a unicorn. But if she had a stuffed one, I’m sure she’d rip the horn off. And then the legs and head, etc.
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It really is a good thing puppies are so adorable.
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Yeah, or the whole dog fad would have faded away thousands of years ago.
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OH MYYYY she is so cute!!! And I can just tell she is a mischievous little one 😆 The cuter they are, the more naughtiness they try to get away with…
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Yes, maybe because we spoil her so much.
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