Humor

Druggies Unfairly Maligned

A national movement is underway over the treatment of druggies in our society. Druggies claim they’ve been unfairly maligned for decades. They’re sick and tired of the stereotypes that have been applied to them, and are seeking understanding for the human beings that live behind their vacant eyes and edentulous grins.

“Every time something crazy goes down, people say, ‘oh, I bet it’s druggies’,” lamented Greta Bogart, president of Druggies Are Neighbors and Kin (DANK). “Hey, not every time,” she added, “I mean, like, not EVERY time. Sometimes it’s just some crazy dude . . . hearing voices, ya know, and like who’s gone off his meds and not even on drugs.”

And Greta cited examples of blatant discrimination against drug users. “Just try getting a job as a cop, when you’re a druggy. The military kicks you out if your piss has got some stank in it. Can’t get no work at the fire depot, postal office, airplane pilot places; no choo-choo train gonna hire you as an engineer, and you sure as hell ain’t gettin’ no job at a pharmacy. It’s really nuts. And it ain’t fair!”

Druggies are people, too.

Greta explained that the mission of DANK is to educate the public that druggies are your neighbors and kin. “Look around,” she advised, “One of two people you know is a druggy. We’re everywhere. Don’t be puttin’ us down and keepin’ us outta good jobs. Hell, we get those good jobs anyway, when we stay in the closet, pour salt in our piss tests, and shoot up right before job interviews. We come across cool and smooth as the crystal in meth, and we outperform all our sober co-workers when we get our fix. When we can make it into work, we outwork any worker.”

Yes, a war on druggy discrimination is being plotted and planned by druggies, even at this very moment. And when they’re able to get up off the floor and start crusading, we can expect an onslaught of PSAs with the major networks. And look forward to hearing this new slogan being repeated over and over, ad nauseam:

“Just say yes to druggies.”

Categories: Humor

50 replies »

  1. A totally delusional and narrow view of “the world”. It shows a complete disregard for issues directly attributed to substance abuse. It shows a lack of appreciation of the expectations of employees in certain lines of work.

    “Druggies are people to?”. – Absolutely they are, just as are other groups in our society such as Native Indians, East Indians, West Indians, Mexicans, Chinese, Japanese etc. etc., and we cannot forget immigrants, the unemployed and the mentally ill. Then there is the LGBQ etc group. They all deserve respect as human beings.

    .

    Liked by 1 person

      • I am concluding that this is unicorn influenced “tongue in cheek” humour so yeh! Let’s march for freedom to do whatever turns us on without any repercussions from the pseudo police state! While we’re at it, let us lobby to ban income taxes, and all other forms of taxes. Food and shelter should be free to everybody, as should all health benefits, and those speed limit signs? Tear them down! Oh …. I almost forgot, alcohol based drinks have a medicinal component and should therefore be free for everybody. Where’s all the money coming from to pay for it all? Scrap the military completely,, and tax large Corporations more effectively.

        Why limit one’s perspective simply to drugs?

        Liked by 1 person

  2. For the movement, perhaps the symbol of the unicorn is over used. Why not a “One-eyed, one-horned, flyin’ purple people eater…?” The horny druggies wouldn’t have to worry about being lunch…unless asphyxiated (purple people eaters aren’t concerned with what shade of purple their prey happens to be). Just a thought…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Though I’ve not been personally affected by the opioid addiction/overdose crisis, I have suffered enough unrelenting ACE-related hyper-anxiety to have known, enjoyed and appreciated the great release upon consuming alcohol and/or THC. I also understand the callous politics involved with this most serious social issue: Just government talk about increasing funding to make proper treatment available to low- and no-income addicts, however much it would alleviate their great suffering, generates firm opposition by the general socially and fiscally conservative electorate. Therefore most, if not all, political candidates will typically, tragically avoid this hot potato at election time.

    There’s a preconceived notion that substance (ab)users are but weak-willed and/or have somehow committed a moral crime. Ignored is that such intense addiction usually does not originate from a bout of boredom, where a person repeatedly consumed recreationally but became heavily hooked — and homeless, soon after — on an unregulated often-deadly chemical that eventually destroyed their life and even those of loved-ones.

    Serious psychological trauma, typically adverse childhood experiences, is usually behind a substance abuser’s debilitating lead-ball-and-chain self-medicating. The addiction likely resulted from his/her attempt at silencing through self-medicating the pain of serious life trauma or PTSD. Furthermore, we know that pharmaceutical corporations intentionally pushed their very addictive and profitable opiate pain killers — I call it the real moral crime — for which they got off relatively lightly, considering the resulting immense suffering and overdose death numbers.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sounds about right, to me.

      From what I’ve heard, many addicts have quit drugs on their own, so I agree about them not being weak-willed.

      The post was meant as satire, but I do believe that the war on drugs is a complete failure, and the resources put into it might be better spent going toward rehab.

      Liked by 1 person

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