This is the latest installation of a 27-part series, featuring my book, Chasing Unicorns. To read the previous installation, CLICK THIS LINK. For the next post in this series, CLICK THIS LINK. To start at the beginning, CLICK THIS LINK. To read the entire book at once, tap the book cover. Thanks for reading!
RECAP: In the last chapter, we learned about uniqueness, and how it affects the level of change we experience. The more unique a change, the more life and enjoyment we can derive from it. Uniqueness is the sweet spot! It’s the fulfillment of fantasy. It’s the strange and unexpected. It’s an escape from the mundane. In fact it’s an infinite amount of things, because it’s anything unpredictable or unusual.
I’d love to describe uniqueness for you, so that you can recognize it whenever you see it, and grab hold of it and make it a part of your life. But unfortunately, uniqueness defies description. That’s because what is unique to you now will not be unique later.
Yeah, it’s a dilemma. A fucking dilemma! Uniqueness simply cannot be contained in a convenient formula, system of thought, or method of living. Uniqueness runs wild as a unicorn. It’s elusive. It’s rare. It’s constantly transforming itself. It’s even more elusive than me, when I’m trying to avoid religious people at my front door.
Spotting something unique is like spotting a unicorn. There it stands in its splendor and majesty. You can hardly believe it. So you rub your eyes, look again, and it’s gone.
Which brings us to Unicorn Theory. Unicorn Theory states that unique experiences can be as elusive and rare as spotting a unicorn. And if you’ve ever spotted one, you’ll know what I’m talking about. Doesn’t happen very often, does it?
But when it does happen, it’s one hell of a thrill. So wouldn’t it be nice if it happened more often than once in a blue moon?
My Auto-Enjoyment Theory, in Chapter 4, asserts that life is automatically enjoyed. I believe in this theory. I think most people are automatically enjoying life, and are happy. In fact, I think you are probably happy right now, even though you’re reading this book. Now that’s some strong happiness!
And if that’s the case, why the hell did I write this book? Why am I wasting my time preaching to the choir, mailing junk mail to wrecking yards, and sending sardines to Sardinia?
And before you start guessing, it has nothing to do with the terms of any probation, requiring me to have gainful employment. Believe me, nobody is going to buy this book. There’s nothing gainful about this writing endeavor. Just don’t tell my probation officer.
I’m writing this book because I think it can be helpful to lots of people. And if so, that will make me famous. I lust for fame. I want the experience of punching out irritating paparazzi. I want to make the talk show rounds, so I can say all the politically incorrect stuff to get canceled from culture. Culture? Bah! Who needs it?
I want the name of Tippy Gnu to become a household word. Just what is a household word, anyway? Most of the words I hear around my household are of the four-letter variety. Regardless, I want that. I think it would be cool to have my name uttered in every household. Even if it replaces words like, shit, damn, or fuck, I can think of no higher honor.
If you’re happy, and you probably are, I think you can still benefit from this book. And if you aren’t happy, then I know you’ll benefit. But if you’re happy, this book can help you to be even happier. Happiness is a good thing, in my opinion. So why not get more of a good thing?
This book teaches that change produces happiness, since life is change, and life is automatically enjoyed. It also teaches that the more unique the change, the more happiness it will produce. And that’s where this book can be helpful. I’m going to show you how to increase the uniqueness of your experiences.
But there’s one problem. We must contend with Unicorn Theory. Remember, it states that unique experiences can be as elusive and rare as spotting a unicorn.
Now technically, all experiences are unique to some degree, because no two experiences are exactly the same. So this theory refers to experiences that are very unique. Unique in a standout way. The kind of experiences that leave you feeling thrilled, intrigued, fascinated, or otherwise very happy.
When I wrote the Unicorn Theory, I wrote it with the attitude of a Philadelphia lawyer. I was being slick and sly. So check the theory out again, and read it carefully. Note my use of the word, “can,” when I say, “unique experiences can be as elusive and rare as spotting a unicorn.” Consider that it doesn’t say “are.” Yeah, clever of me, huh?
Now I have an out. What I mean by all this slick bafflegab is, that unique experiences CAN be elusive and rare, but they don’t have to be. If you know how to search for unique experiences, then they can occur fairly often.
In other words, you have to know how to hunt unicorns (using unicorns as a metaphor for unique experiences), before you can spot them frequently. And after you learn the skill of the hunt, you’ll find yourself surrounded by these magical creatures. They won’t be so elusive and rare, after all. In fact, you’ll have so many unicorns around you, with their horns up your ass, that you won’t quite know what to do with them all.
It’s important to note that everybody catches a unicorn now and them. Life has enough odd twists and turns to allow these one-horned critters to make occasional appearances in anyone’s life, just by chance.
But what I’m going to show is how to increase the odds, so that you’ll catch more than you’ll likely ever capture by depending upon pure, blind luck.
First, I’m going to reveal some rather obvious strategies. Conventional stuff you’ve probably already thought of. Then I’ll unveil an unconventional strategy. The unconventional strategy is not so obvious. It’s a secret weapon for hunting unicorns that is more effective than any nightscope, fancy bait, or unicorn whistle ever invented.
With the conventional, obvious strategy, you’re chasing unicorns. With the unconventional, not so obvious strategy, you’re tracking the path of unicorns, and discovering where they come from. It’s a mystical, magical, meditative path, which we’ll get to soon.
But first, let’s learn how to chase the unicorns that have already made it down that path.
[Go out and buy some running shoes. Tomorrow you’ll be chasing one-horned creatures all over fucking hell.]