Chasing Unicorns: Chapter 2, Zombie Theory, Part 4

Tap cover, to read.

This is the latest installation of a 27-part series, featuring my book, Chasing Unicorns. To read the previous installation, CLICK THIS LINK. For the next post in this series, CLICK THIS LINK. To start at the beginning, CLICK THIS LINK. To read the entire book at once, tap the book cover. Thanks for reading!

RECAP: Yesterday, I used a vicious Doberman Pincer to try to convince you that when we focus on one change to the exclusion of others, we experience less life, and thus, less enjoyment. But if you’re starting to feel unsure about that, I can always go get the Dobie again. Or you can read on, for more clarification . . .

Zombie Theory, Part 4

Auto-Enjoyment Theory

How many times have you said to yourself something like, “I could be so much happier if it only wasn’t for _____” (fill in the blank). You perceive that something is getting in the way of your being happy. But ultimately that is not what is keeping you from being happy. Ultimately, way down deep inside at the pulsating core of the heart of happiness production, the obstruction to your sense of well-being is your inability to experience a normal amount of change.

So your husband cheats on you, bill collectors harass you, you have swollen corns on your tootsies, your house is on fire, and people are making fun of you. These things by themselves don’t keep you from bliss. But they do trigger reactions within your mind that force it into a narrow focus, preventing you from experiencing a normal amount of change and life. And this is what ultimately obstructs happiness.

I call my philosophy about life being automatically enjoyed, Auto-Enjoyment Theory. Please don’t confuse it with America’s love affair with Detroit. When you pair Zombie Theory (life is change) with Auto-Enjoyment Theory, you can envision the undead driving shiny new cars. Or you can understand how your mind produces happiness. You can understand that whenever your mind experiences change (life), you automatically enjoy that change.

But when that change forces you to focus on it to the exclusion of other changes, you experience less life and less enjoyment than normal.

But wait. Is that all the time, or just some of the time? Is it possible to focus on a change, to the exclusion of other changes, and still enjoy yourself?

You may be asking this question because you know there are some things you really enjoy focusing upon. Such as eating a serving of strawberry shortcake, with your mind completely immersed in the exquisite sweetness of the dish. How is it possible that you can enjoy such a change, where your mind is so deeply involved in focus that you aren’t paying attention to any other changes going on around you?

Well, to answer your question, I’m going to cop out by saying that is a subject for another book. Yeah, I’m a real intellectual coward. I get scared when people ask me questions that legitimately challenge my theories, and so I run away as fast as I can. Besides, this may be an opportunity for me to sell another book.

But on the other hand, if your challenge goes unanswered you might assume that Zombie Theory and Auto-Enjoyment Theory are incorrect. And I consider these theories to be cornerstones of happiness.


Alright, alright, you’ve backed me up against a wall. I’ll discuss your question with you. But you’re really making my job difficult. The answer gets kind of complicated, so I’ll have to discuss it in a separate chapter. And I’ll need to use a lot of words to simplify the explanation. So just consider the chapter to be a free book within a book.

The next chapter helps provide the answer to your question, by focusing upon focus. And it also makes you aware of awareness.

But for now, we’ve already covered a lot of ground. And you may be getting a little foggy-eyed. Let’s take a break, then take a little white pill, and then with minds as fresh as bakery donuts in the morning, we’ll focus our awareness on the next chapter.


15 replies »

  1. there you go with the donuts again. you know how to keep me around.

    I noticed the following phrase: “your inability to experience a normal amount of change.”

    does this suggest that all bets are off regarding happiness if something is considered an abnormal amount of change?

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I want some strawberry shortcake now..
    When I get lost in a really good book I am oblivious to any changes going on around me, so that contradicts your zombie theory, right? Do I get a gold star since I contradicted the teacher? For I am enjoying life very much when I am reading and I am enjoying life right now by contradicting the teacher. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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