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Masscots

Vic, at Cosmic Observation, has suggested that this blog needs a mascot. I thought a jackass named “Jack” would be an apt mascot, since we have so many smartasses that drop comments here. But then she suggested a female mascot. Perhaps a jackass named “Jenny.” She pointed out that Jenny is the animal husbandry term for a female jackass.

First of all, now that I know this, I feel sorry for any woman named Jenny. And I also feel sorry for any husband that has to marry an animal. But if I had to marry an animal, I think a jackass would be my first choice. They’re cute, and ornery, and funny, all at the same time. Just what I like in a spouse.

Back in the Old West days, many a lonely desert prospector considered their jackass to be their best friend. And who knows what went on between them, in the name of animal husbandry. So if a scruffy old desert prospector can marry a jackass, I think it’s only fitting that we smartasses choose the jackass as our mascot.

As Chancellor of Jackass University, I hereby make the choice, without objection, for all of us. I nominate our new mascots to be jackasses.

Only I’m calling them “masscots,” with two s’s. And their names are Jack Ass, and Jenny Ass, from the Ass family.

If anyone objects to this nomination, please leave your smartass comments, below. If necessary, we can hold an election. And then we can contest the results of the election. We might even take it all the way to the Supreme Court, and leave it up to its nine jackasses to decide the matter.

And now I introduce to you, our nominees. Our two prospective masscots. Our symbols of the hallowed craft of smartassery. Here, ladies and gentlemen, are Jack and Jenny Ass . . .

Categories: Blog

36 replies »

  1. After following the Heehaw Network debate last night, I’m still working things out (got the earplugs in a little too deep). Jack certainly comes across as more refined, but he just strikes me as somehow fake and too well manicured. I’m a little suspicious that’s a hairpiece. Jenny seems more “real” and experienced, but a little slow to respond. Maybe because of all that hair in her ears… or from eating too much of the loco weed growing on the west side of town?

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I like Jack and Jenny, but shouldn’t it be Jack and Jill?
    Their slanted eyes make them look like they are up to mischief which make them the perfect mascots for this group of mischievous smartasses! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Let’s see, “Jill Ass.” I wonder how our friend, Jill, would like that?

      I thought it should be Jack and Jackie. But after Vic pointed out that a female donkey is called a Jenny, I thought it best to go with the animal husbandry term.

      But if you want to get up a petition, maybe I can be convinced to go with your suggestion. I think the first person you should ask to sign it is Jill.

      Like

  3. I just made the suggestion that U. Of Ass should have a masscot. I wasn’t really suggesting a team, I was just pointing out that, if you want to name them, determine sex, first. A male might not appreciate being called a “Jenny”, a Jackie, a Jill or a Wilma for that matter.

    You are the Chancellor. Again, you have the floor. I made a motion. It’s “Yay” or “Neigh.”

    Liked by 2 people

  4. A hearty “aye” to both. Unicorns being so difficult to procure, I think jack asses are the perfect mascot for your blog. You mentioned feeling sorry for people named Jenny. I got to thinking about that after the whole “Karen” business. People so named also hated Lazy Susans and Sloppy Joes.

    Liked by 1 person

    • My memory is not so good these days, so I don’t recall the Karen business. But I imagine people named Susan and Joe must take a lot of ribbing. Although, if I was a kid named Joe, I’d never clean my room. After all, I’d have the perfect excuse.

      Liked by 1 person

      • “Karens” are privileged white women with bob haircuts that throw their weight around, always want to speak to the manager, etc. Several of my buddies named Karen took offense because they aren’t like that but somehow got lumped into that group. Like Susans who aren’t lazy and Joes who aren’t sloppy. You know. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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