Vic, at Cosmic Observation, has suggested that this blog needs a mascot. I thought a jackass named “Jack” would be an apt mascot, since we have so many smartasses that drop comments here. But then she suggested a female mascot. Perhaps a jackass named “Jenny.” She pointed out that Jenny is the animal husbandry term for a female jackass.
First of all, now that I know this, I feel sorry for any woman named Jenny. And I also feel sorry for any husband that has to marry an animal. But if I had to marry an animal, I think a jackass would be my first choice. They’re cute, and ornery, and funny, all at the same time. Just what I like in a spouse.
Back in the Old West days, many a lonely desert prospector considered their jackass to be their best friend. And who knows what went on between them, in the name of animal husbandry. So if a scruffy old desert prospector can marry a jackass, I think it’s only fitting that we smartasses choose the jackass as our mascot.
As Chancellor of Jackass University, I hereby make the choice, without objection, for all of us. I nominate our new mascots to be jackasses.
Only I’m calling them “masscots,” with two s’s. And their names are Jack Ass, and Jenny Ass, from the Ass family.
If anyone objects to this nomination, please leave your smartass comments, below. If necessary, we can hold an election. And then we can contest the results of the election. We might even take it all the way to the Supreme Court, and leave it up to its nine jackasses to decide the matter.
And now I introduce to you, our nominees. Our two prospective masscots. Our symbols of the hallowed craft of smartassery. Here, ladies and gentlemen, are Jack and Jenny Ass . . .
Jack Ass 
Jenny Ass
Categories: Blog
Chasing Unicorns 
Could you find one with a single horn?
LikeLiked by 3 people
Unicorns don’t make good mascots. They’re always tearing their costumes up with their horn.
LikeLiked by 2 people
After following the Heehaw Network debate last night, I’m still working things out (got the earplugs in a little too deep). Jack certainly comes across as more refined, but he just strikes me as somehow fake and too well manicured. I’m a little suspicious that’s a hairpiece. Jenny seems more “real” and experienced, but a little slow to respond. Maybe because of all that hair in her ears… or from eating too much of the loco weed growing on the west side of town?
LikeLiked by 2 people
They do have their drawbacks, I’ll admit. But don’t all smartasses? We’re not perfect, you know.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Speak for yourself… I have 20:20 hindsight.
LikeLiked by 3 people
That’s better sight than many people I know.
LikeLiked by 2 people
This choice does make me burro my frow, I mean furrow my brow.
LikeLiked by 3 people
I think mafia bosses use these animals to open doors. They call them don keys.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Heh.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know. I tried.
LikeLike
I like it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Don’t talk about your frow that way. Have some respect.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think you need to tie a fake horn on either Jack or Jenny so you have a “pseudocorn” masscot for your blog. 😉
Deb
LikeLiked by 3 people
A “pseudocorn,” eh? That sounds like a pseudo new word. It’s amazing all the new words we learn on this blog.
LikeLiked by 4 people
Excellent!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I like Jack and Jenny, but shouldn’t it be Jack and Jill?
Their slanted eyes make them look like they are up to mischief which make them the perfect mascots for this group of mischievous smartasses! 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Let’s see, “Jill Ass.” I wonder how our friend, Jill, would like that?
I thought it should be Jack and Jackie. But after Vic pointed out that a female donkey is called a Jenny, I thought it best to go with the animal husbandry term.
But if you want to get up a petition, maybe I can be convinced to go with your suggestion. I think the first person you should ask to sign it is Jill.
LikeLike
LOL! Oops, yeah Jill may not take too kindly to that!
Jack and Jenny is fine. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Okay, now that we know their names, when we start digging holes, will we know our asses from a hole in the ground?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I just made the suggestion that U. Of Ass should have a masscot. I wasn’t really suggesting a team, I was just pointing out that, if you want to name them, determine sex, first. A male might not appreciate being called a “Jenny”, a Jackie, a Jill or a Wilma for that matter.
You are the Chancellor. Again, you have the floor. I made a motion. It’s “Yay” or “Neigh.”
LikeLiked by 2 people
I say Yay! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
One…or two…asses?
LikeLiked by 2 people
Now don’t get cheeky with her.
LikeLiked by 1 person
blush
LikeLiked by 2 people
The Yays have it. Motion is carried.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I say neither Yay nor Neigh. I say, “Hee-haw!”
LikeLiked by 1 person
Are you aware that these two images are of the female sort?
No, I didn’t think so.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Are you saying that Jack Ass should actually be called Jackie Ass?
LikeLike
A hearty “aye” to both. Unicorns being so difficult to procure, I think jack asses are the perfect mascot for your blog. You mentioned feeling sorry for people named Jenny. I got to thinking about that after the whole “Karen” business. People so named also hated Lazy Susans and Sloppy Joes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My memory is not so good these days, so I don’t recall the Karen business. But I imagine people named Susan and Joe must take a lot of ribbing. Although, if I was a kid named Joe, I’d never clean my room. After all, I’d have the perfect excuse.
LikeLiked by 1 person
“Karens” are privileged white women with bob haircuts that throw their weight around, always want to speak to the manager, etc. Several of my buddies named Karen took offense because they aren’t like that but somehow got lumped into that group. Like Susans who aren’t lazy and Joes who aren’t sloppy. You know. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh okay, now I understand. Sounds like a stereotype, to me. I can imagine how being named Karen, your buddies may have felt a little uncomfortable.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hey! 😡 Jenny happen to be one of my nicknames! 😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t understand how you get Jenny out of Jessica, but okay. Consider it to be an honor to be the namesake of one of our masscots.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Me too! I’m usually address as Jess by my Philippine friends or Jessie by the Norwegian ones, but for some reason some Spanish friends calls me Jenny. I’m not complaining I feel love.
and in this case… thank you for the honor 😅
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re welcome. Hee-haw!
LikeLiked by 1 person