I’m afraid this blog might get out of hand, with all the smartasses that comment here. I think we need a code. So the following is a new page I’m adding to my blog:
CODE OF THE SMARTASS
Just read the cheeky comments on this blog, and you’ll realize that those who follow me tend to be smartasses. It’s fun being a smartass, and everyone is invited to join in on all the good times. But please keep in mind that we follow a code. It’s called the Code of the Smartass:
Code of the Smartass

We’re smartasses, and proud of it. But smartasses can refer to each other by a variety of names, including: smart aleck (whatever an aleck is), smarty, smarty-pants, wise-ass, wise guy, wiseacre, wisenheimer, witling, brat, cheeky boy (or girl), malapert, rascal, saucebox, and troll. However none of these other names detract from the fact that we are all just smartasses.
Smartasses are not easily offended. But that doesn’t stop us from working hard at it.
Smartasses don’t take life too seriously. Nothing is sacred, including being a smartass.
Smartasses don’t care about convention, tradition, perdition, or any of the other shins.
Smartasses respect all religions, creeds, political beliefs, and cultures. Because without these things, there would be little left to make fun of.
Smartasses appreciate and respect wisdom. After all, wisdom is the fictile clay for creating wisecracks.
Smartasses are troublemakers, and also get into trouble a lot. We accept this as the risk one takes when acting like a smartass. We take full responsibility for the consequences of our smartassery, unless there’s a patsy nearby who we can conveniently blame.
Smartasses do not organize well. Such an organization would fall apart from internal ridicule. The only thing that keeps smartasses together is our love for smartassery.
Smartasses aren’t known for being profound or thought-provoking. But we’re commonly thought to be profane and provoking.
Even though we strive to be smartasses, sometimes we fall short and are dumbasses instead. But that doesn’t mean we can’t pick ourselves up off of our dumbasses and keep striving to be the best smartasses in the whole world.
Smartasses chase unicorns, because unicorns are unique, novel, new, different, strange, weird, and thus, interesting. And that’s all smartasses really want. Relief from boredom. Otherwise we wouldn’t be such smartasses.
Categories: Humor
Yes.
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Of course.
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I think you missed some names in your list of names to call each other.
Oh and I like this phrase ..”We take full responsibility for the consequences of our smartassery…” Hmmm….LOL!
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Oh, you mean like “dummkopf,” “schtupid,” and “doolally”?
I should have noted that everyone takes full responsibility, except Snowball.
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Yes, now the list is complete, …maybe!
Haha! That is what I thought.
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Or ducks. 🦆 Quack.
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Ducks get along well with smartasses. All the smartass comments land like water on a duck’s back.
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Shouldn’t that be “water off” a duck’s back?
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Oh yeah, that’s right. Geez, I really fowled that one up.
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Yes, you did. Bad duck. Bad, bad duck… Oh. Excuse me. Bad Tipster. You are no longer a duck. Bad “Prince” Tipster.
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😄😄
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😀
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We are the University of Smartassery alumni. Tipster provided a picture of our mascot.
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I like that. Maybe we could be called the U. of Ass.
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U. of Ass works well, here. What is our mascot’s name?
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I don’t know. Any ideas?
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Well…it depends. Is our mascot a male ass or a female ass?
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Either. I think the name could be either Jack or Jackie. Or maybe we could have two mascots.
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Male would be Jack. Female would be Jenny.
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Well who thought that up? Female should be Jackie, in my opinion. Jackie ass sounds a lot better than Jenny ass.
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I got that from Wiki. I am assuming it is a farmer’s term or an animal husbandry term. JoRo called a baby goat a calf when they’re called kits. Baby kangaroos are joeys. Who named them?
Jack Ass & Jackie Ass sound fine to me. You seem to be Chancellor and/or Regent of U. Of Ass. The floor is yours.
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Well I do like being accurate, so maybe it will be Jack and Jenny anyway. Thanks for pointing out the proper animal husbandry term. By the way, who the hell invented the term, “animal husbandry”?
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A-hem. From Dictionary.com: “First recorded in 1250-1300. Husbandry is from the Middle English word “housebondrie.”
Husband’s original meaning being “to manage” (as a verb)…🤓
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Oh I see. Manage. I like that. I guess “wifery” must mean “to serve,” from the Middle English. Very interesting.
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I’ve been digging around for “wifery.” So far, all I have found is “Spiritual Wifery” tied to Mormonism. Make what you will of that.
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Oh, I think that’s where a man can marry a second wife, but not legally. Just spiritually.
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I’ll take your word for it.
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Since we are alumni I think we should have special diplomas proving it.
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Okay, I hereby confer upon you this honorary doctorate in Smartassery: 💶
You will now be known as Dr. Smartass.
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Oh gosh what I always wanted to be known as!
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But you’d be called “Doctor.” That’s always impressive.
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That is true! Everyone would look up to me!
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And when anyone needed advice, they’d just ask Dr. Smartass.
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I second that. Dr. Smartass, PhD.
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Good idea.
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Right. What’s responsibility? Also there’s names like hooligan and dipshit he forgot to mention…
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Not to mention dipwad, douchebag, and shitface.
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And nincompoop, and knuclehead.
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And chowderhead and featherbrain.
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Not to mention Raggamuffin.
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Okay, I won’t mention Raggamuffin.
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Willy-Nilly will thank you.
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Harem-Scarum, you’re welcome.
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Cattywumpus was confuzzled by baloney.
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Sounds like a bunch of malarkey, to me.
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Maybe some bamboozlement.
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And legerdemain.
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Worried you’ve aroused the attentions of a “Xanthippe”? Better hide the chamber pots!
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Either that or grab an umbrella.
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LOL!
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Now that you have published your manifesto, by which crazy stunt will you end your days?
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I thought I might try rattlesnake juggling.
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Make sure you wear pants.
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Meh. That would be as unexciting as a trapeze artist with a net.
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Oh please make sure you video yourself doing that.
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Maybe I’ll juggle the video camera with the rattlesnakes. It would be like a GoPro perspective.
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Oh. Look. Blurry film and screaming.
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And hissing and buzzing.
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That, too.
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That’s what I’m thinking…
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Yes we need proof. I mean we’d need to save you.
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We would?? 😛
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Right?!
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You heard her.
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Heard what?
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You know what.
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Hmmm…I know someone that turned into a bush baby, is that what?
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The bush baby doesn’t want to talk about it.
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LOL! 😛Poor bushbaby! But hey you weren’t alone!
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But now I am. I mean, Snowball is.
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Oh gosh, you are right! Oops! Guess I overlooked that! 😂Kind of like the way I overlook your “old lady countdown” in your sidebar.
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Perhaps I need to make the Old Lady Countdown more prominent, so you won’t overlook it.
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Ummm….that isn’t necessary, would hate to make more work for you. 🙂
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Well, this Bush Baby is kind of lazy. I could use a little break from having buggy eyes and fur all over me.
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Wellll….it was left open ended you know. Snowball could still be dreaming or….. 🙂
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Ah, okay. So Snowball is not a Bush Baby after all. That’s a relief. Now it’s time for him to really wake up.
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Did you see some of the other comments about Snowball on my post. A reader has compassion on him. LOL!
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LOL!
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I’ll just need someone to throw the snakes to me. Would you please volunteer?
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Sure…
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Nailed it! 😁
Thanks, TG!
Deb
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You’re welcome. I guess my smartass kick has been accurate.
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Speak for yourself. I personally have never been a smartass. Right? RIGHT? (oh, wait, there was that mirror blog …)
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I remember that mirror blog. I think it was just a ploy to double your smartassery.
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I’m sure it was, Wish sometimes I could back into it, but I killed off the main character.
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Typical smartass move, burning your bridges.
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There’s being cute, being facetious, being flippant, cocky, impish (my GM’s favorite), rogish, sassy, waggish and…downright rude. 😆
Saucebox is particularly funny.
I would literally explode if my inner saucebox couldn’t spew nuggets of smartassery. 😁😎
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These are all good adjectives to describe a smartass. Examples: Impish Smartypants. Sassy Saucebox. Roguish Witling.
I think we’re doing a pretty good job, building our smartass vocabulary.
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I like those names! 🙂
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Dub me Dr. Sassy Saucebox, PhD.
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Okay. Here’s your diploma, doc: 💶
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I feel SO special! 😀
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😄
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😉
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Haha! Well we sure don’t want you to explode, so you can keep spewing!
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I can’t help myself…
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Understand! You just gotta let it out!
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LOL!
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Bahaha saucebox
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I think sassy saucebox is my favorite . 🙂
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That’s even better!
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I suspect it’s something you can relate to.
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I know! 😂
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That made me laugh.
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Yawn! I’m bored. Is this smartass post over with yet?
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😂
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Sorry. Was it a little too long for your attention span?
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Well it was taking away from my smartassing time.
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Great Godfrey! We can’t have that.
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That’s what I was sayin.
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LOL!
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😉
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“You’ll realize that those who follow me tend to be smartasses” Hmm… takes one to know one! 😂 You forget to add that we’re chasing unicorns because they’re unrealistic and we’re dreamers… or am I wrong … 🤔 PS: I’m organized. Or at least that’s what I want to be when everything is a mess almost everyday. 😂
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Unicorns are very realistic. In fact, unicorns are real. A unicorn, on this blog, is anything that is unique. Technically, everything is unique to some degree. But the more unique something is, the more interesting it is. And those are the kinds of unicorns we’re more inclined to chase after.
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You just turned unicorn into a euphemism for the odd and unusual.
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Well, unicorns are very euphemistic. Except the ones that gore you with their very sharp horns. They’re dysphemistic.
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Hm. Unicorn dichotomy. How apropos. Light & dark. Yin & Yang.
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There’s definitely a Yin & Yang to unicorns. Not all unique situations are desirable situations. We must pick and choose carefully.
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True, dat…
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My eyes burn. I got a very vivid brain who stop at nothing. The moment I hear or read a word I see it. My husband always does this to torment me, now he got a companion. Oh gosh, why am I like this? 🤦
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I don’t know, but at least you get a chance to improve your vocabulary. And then you can do to others what we apparently do to you.
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Hahaha Okay… 😂
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It’s an organized mess.
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Nice! So true. I use to call them perfect chaos, but organized mess works great too 😂
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Perfect chaos works, too. I like that.
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