Countdown to Old Age

One of my blogging buddies turned me into a duck, in one of her posts. That was a few months ago. But I have a long memory, and don’t forget these things easily. Recently, she transformed me back to my anthropic form. That’s good, but it’s not enough.

I told her she should have turned me into a Prince Charming. Or a handsome prince. Or whatever the hell happens in those fairy tales, when ducks and frogs and such, become human. This would have made up for turning me into a duck.

But instead of transforming me into Prince Charming, she wrote a story that depicted me as a bumbling, daydreaming factory worker who trips over a hole and gets knocked out. While in a coma, he dreams he is a prince who suffers all manner of bodily injury.

I’ll admit the story is entertaining, but I am not amused. And I have concluded that she has failed to redeem herself. I won’t reveal her name, but her initials are C.S. (which stand for Carolyn Shelton). You can find her blog, and the infamous story, at joyroses13.

It has come to my attention that C.S. will be turning 50 very soon. Yes, soon she will transform into an old lady, and there’s nothing she can do about it. I’m sure she’d like to forget this upcoming climacteric in her life, but how can I allow that to happen after all the things she’s done to me?

Therefore, I have posted a countdown calendar in my sidebar. Just glance over to the right and you will see it, plain as the bump on a concussed prince’s head, counting down the days until the big birthday. As you can surmise, it won’t be long before C.S. is no longer a young, smartass whippersnapper.

No, she will soon just be a plain old smartass.

Always listen to the SCE squirrel, and never turn a blogger into a duck. Or an accident-prone prince.

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