Creamers

My wife likes to embarrass me, in her blog, so I thought I might turn the tables on her. The following is a short story I wrote that is closely based on an actual event that occurred about six years ago. An embarrassing event. Involving my wife:


Free creamers. That’s what she liked so much about going to McDonalds. She’d order a cup of coffee, then ask for, let’s see, how about eight creamers? Then she’d put just one of those creamers in her coffee and stuff the remaining seven in her purse, to be taken home for using later. McDonalds had always been so nice about letting her get away with this.

“Welcome to McDonalds! May I take your order?” the young lady behind the counter smiled.

“Yes, a cup of coffee, please. And can I have eight creamers with that?”

“Sure. Anything else?”

She calculated that she’d need a little bag to hold the extra creamers without them getting scattered in her purse. Then she was struck with a splendid idea. She’d order the hash browns, which come in a small bag just the perfect size. She was dieting, so she’d have to throw the hash browns out, but they weren’t too expensive.

“And hash browns.”

A few minutes later her order was ready. There on her tray at the counter sat the cup of java. Next to it were some steaming hot hash browns. But there were no creamers.

“Uh, excuse me ma’am, you forgot the creamers I ordered.”

“Oh no I didn’t,” the nice young lady reassured. “I put them in your coffee for you.”

She sat at a little table with a view of the Ronald McDonald playground, and gave the coffee a test-sip. Her face scrunched up to the left and to the right, and her gag reflex kicked in. And then she reflected. This little coffee break cost her $3.12, when she could have bought eight creamers at the store for $2.50.

She dumped the coffee and hash browns into the trash receptacle and departed the land of the golden arches, feeling a bit sheepish.

Lesson learned.

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