Apology to Pooh
This is really the shits. A few days ago I posted an article that might have insulted Winnie the Pooh. All of his fan (Carolyn) raised a stink over this, and demanded that I apologize to Pooh Bear.
Then others jumped on Carolyn’s bandwagon, such as Vic at The Hinoeuma (or however the hell you spell that), and CrankyPants. And now my wife is getting in on the action. Today she posted a demand for an apology, and threatened to cut off my macaroni and cheese dinner if I didn’t capitulate.
Jeeeeezus Keeeeeerist! All of this for a frickin’ pooh?!
I love mac and cheese, so I’m backed against a wall. Therefore, with my hat in hand, everyone who was offended, including Winnie, Christopher Robin, Piglet, Eeyore, Tigger, Rabbit, Gopher, Kanga, Roo, Lumpy, and any other wacky character that’s on that damned cartoon, please accept my apology. I also apologize to everyone who’s ever enjoyed a Winnie-the-fucking-Pooh cartoon.
I’m sorry that Pooh Bear is shaped like a turd. And I’m sorry his name is “Pooh.” I can’t think of a worse, more disgusting name for a parent to give a child. And I’m sorry Winnie is so damned sanctimonious and priggish.
Alright, I hope everyone is satisfied now, and that everyone’s idealist views of the world that my post shattered have been glued back together.
Now, where’s my mac and cheese?