Cranky Pants and JoyRoses13 are up to no good. They’ve posed a question they want me to post. This question really insults men, and I’m acting like a traitor to my gender for posting it. But what the hell, it’s the first question that’s been submitted in a long time, so why not? I’m desperate. But I’m counting on the men who read this to give us some smartass responses that will show the women a thing or two. Here’s the question:
Categories: question
🤣🤣🤣 If they are anything like my late dog’s ears, they are very selective about what they can hear.
Thanks for making me chuckle, guys!
Deb
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I’ve heard that men are dogs, and I do like the idea of selective hearing.
You’re welcome. We like to make people chuckle.
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Haha!!
Glad we brought you a laugh!
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My dog too! He is both deaf and has very selective hearing. Stubborn Doxie.
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But they can hear when you are getting food out, they come running! You know what, men come running when they hear the word “Food!” too! 🙂
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Food?! Where?!
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Chocolate chip cookies. …. go Fetch!
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Got them!
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Good boy! 😝
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Hehhh-hehhhh-hehhhh-hehhhh. Got anymore? Anymore? Please! Anymore? Hehhh-hehhhh-hehhhh-hehhhh. 🐕
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Oh gosh! Nope! Guess you will just have to dig a hole!
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Been there, done that. I hope you didn’t like those petunias.
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Haha! Mostly. I do know the dog has some deafness as he doesn’t hear the question “Are you hungry?” Like he used too but yes he can usually hear food in the dish. One other thing men will always hear aside from food…I’ll leave that you to know. Hahaha
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😂😂
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LOL! You really did post it. Yes, CP and I were having a good laugh last night at this and now I am laughing again. 😂😂 Why do you think she threw me so much wine last night. We were celebrating our wit!
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Uh-huh. Don’t forget to celebrate your nit, too.
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Pfft
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We are hilarious!
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A toast to that! 🥂
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Tink! 🥂
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Where are you guys getting all this wine, to toast with?
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Don’t you remember she threw me a whole bunch of bottles last night! The bottles that you missed catching!
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I don’t remember anything like that.
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We can’t tell you or you’d confiscate it all.
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You bet I would.
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I know!
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Ears work fine. But brains have limited capacity and must weed out unnecessary emotions, anything that costs money, or tasks that sound like work. Hence, why our wives believe we are completely deaf.
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Maybe our ears evolved this way, for survival purposes. A man’s ears are good at filtering out the things that are unimportant, or that could lead to problems. We need ears like this to protect us from women who are always trying to get us involved in trivial conversations, or make trouble for us.
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“Brains have limited capacity….” Yeah, I think women would agree about men’s “limited capacity”. 🙂
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Yes we would!
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Finally someone who I can agree with! Its about time you show up! LOL! Leaving me on my own to try and deal with these stooges!
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Sorry! They have gone bat shit crazy haven’t they?!
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Thats a good term, they are Crazy for sure!
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I think they may need some wine to think straight.
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Like several bottles!
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Agreed!
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Okay. Throw some over.
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No. You won’t drink it.
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No, it works too well at eating through stubborn drain clogs.
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Exactly a reason to drink it.
*I meant won’t. Oops.
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I know what you meant. I’ll fix it.
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I knew you did. Thank you.
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Wait! Did I really just read that? First you fixed Jason’s typo, now CP’s, and how many opportunities have you had to fix mine???? …mmm..! 😛
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Oh, I’ve had many, many opportunities to fix yours. That’s the point. If I was always fixing your typos, I’d be busy all the time. I’m not even getting that started.
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“Haha!” Smart aleck!
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Thats NOT what it is for dummkopf!
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I’m innovative, schtupid.
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“Haha!”
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Uh huh.
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Selective hearing says it all. My ears work very well when exposed to a constructive conversation. Of course that rules out most women, but it’s hardly their fault. They have just succumbed to a history of social stereotyping.
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Exactly. If women only realized how much men stereotype them, they’d stop with the idle gossip and chitchat.
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…mmm…!
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Whatever
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You know it’s true.
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What again?
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Whatever.
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So you don’t care? lol
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Of course I do. About what?
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I don’t know dammit.
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Dangit.
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Yeah I need some wine.
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“rules out most women…” most women, except for CP and me, that is, right? 🙂
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That’s totally right!
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😉
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Have we. I do believe your comment also involves some sterotyping. lol
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Maybe he was typing while listening to his stereo.
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That’s a strong possibility!
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Tippy Gnu, my husband uses that phrase, “Whatever” just like you do! As to his hearing? I wrote an entire post about that this weekend on at least one major communication fail between us. It involved food, too! So there you go! Mona
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😊
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“Whatever” is a great word. It’s sort of like, “dude.” It can mean so many things. Very versatile.
I’ve tried to follow your blog in the past, but you don’t have a “Follow” button. I get the sense I have to fill out all kinds of crazy contact information, in a form, and I’m too lazy and paranoid to do that.
Or am I like your husband? Do you have to point out very specifically where the “Follow” button is, for me to find it?
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Just a heads up… men’s noses don’t work any better. I’ve come to the conclusion that natural selection probably weeded out males who thought they could hear or smell something to kill in that cave over there.
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I have a very large nose. Whatever’s in that cave over there, I can probably smell a mile away. Actually, having a good sniffer is a curse. It’s why men can’t change diapers without throwing up.
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Well then, I suspect from the laundry I just tracked down by following the draft through the house, that it’s also selective.
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Yikes. Sounds like some rather ripe laundry you’ve discovered.
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Haha! I can relate to the poor guy. I like how he tries to talk baby-talk to the kid, in-between retching.
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Right?! I laughed so hard I cried when I saw this the first time! What a good father.
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He’s a brave man.
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And what are we?
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Nose blind.
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Nope. Tough as nails.
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Yeesh. Okay, women win. You ladies can change all the diapers you want.
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I did for many years. Many years of babysitting and being a nanny. I’m done.
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Did it make you want to vomit at first, but gradually you got used to the smell?
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No it just never really bothered me. What bothered me was snot, and barf. Then there were a few years where I looked after seniors where we had to deal with toileting. That was very difficult for me.
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Yeah, I’ll bet the load from seniors is about 10 times bigger and smellier.
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It’s not fun. Maybe one day I’ll tell you about my first client ever.
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Okay. But please tell me after dinner.
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Most definitly.
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Okay, I’ve had dinner. Now you can gross everyone out.
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Lol. On here or via email?
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Oh heck, on here.
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Is this my blog?
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No, it’s on mine.
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Okay it’s pretty rough yet my favourite client ever. I’ll try to give you the short version. He was a young 67 and quite far gone with dementia. He should not have been at home anymore but is wife couldn’t let him go. He was locked in his room at night to keep him and her safe…Are you sure you don’t want me to email this?
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No, we are all reading on tenterhooks. This is a great story. Please, continue . . .
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I finished it via email. You’ll see why. If you think it’s okay to share further you’re welcome to share it. It’s life as real as it gets.
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Got it. Emailed you back.
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Was his wife’s name Anna?
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I don’t think so but it was so many years ago I don’t remember.
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Do you remember whether she disappeared, and suddenly surfaced as Annie…. maybe with a chicken?
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Ummm is this a movie or something?
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No, he’s referring to JoRo’s ongoing sagas about a lady named Anna and a cow named Betsey.
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Ohhhh got ya!
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Noooo….the saga ended, its not ongoing!
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Then why doesn’t it ever end?
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It did end! In the chapter called The END! Or was it The Finale or…But it did end you Nut! Though Betsy keeps popping up!
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Maybe it ended, but there’s always room for a sequel.
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Oh yes a sequel. ….. the story has only had how many of them?? 🙂
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Not enough.
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Apparently not! Oooh gosh, you know I am going to probably end up giving in due to certain people!
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No pressure from me. I’ve forgotten who’s who, and would need a name chart to understand any future sequels.
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Haha! I think it would come back to you. But yes, you keep pressing for that name chart. 🙂 Did you see Jason’s reply to you on my post. It came as a new comment but he was replying to you asking who everyone was. 🙂
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Thanks for pointing it out. Otherwise I would have been deprived of another great pun.
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Haha! I am too nice, though I am afraid I will regret choosing that name!
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I tink so.
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🤪
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How can it end if Betsy keeps popping up? That’s total gibberish. Betsy is a key part in the story, and I am guessing will eventually show her true self ….. Anna!
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Oh gosh! Don’t let Jason hear you! Thats what he has said all along! Yoi all forget that Anna is in jail and Betsy is a COW!
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Anna in jail? When did that happen? Is that where she meets Annie?
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Oh gosh! Shs went to jail for killing the poor chicken man, remember!??
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That explains why there is a rampant chicken running around with an axe. Interesting story-line. Pity about Anna and Annie.
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Oooh I do it every time! I give explanations and they lead to trouble! 😶🤚
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Not that I am aware of. JR did a story about Anna who disappeared from the story very early on, and then she (JR) came up with a series of odd explanations which left me thinking that she’s going to show up again when least expected. The chicken was unusual in that it was wielding an axe. Hope that helps. 🙂
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Hahaha!
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Oh my gosh! …mmm…!
Yup, she shows up when least expected, that is true!
BUT Charlie the chicken was NOT wielding an axe! 😶🤚
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I’m sure that helped.
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Yeah right! She is probably so confused now.
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I may be laughing but oooh if only I could throw something! 🙂
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Responded to your emails snoozy
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Women just say many times more words on an average day than men care to try to understand.
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True. What a man can say in a grunt, a woman might cover by delivering an entire speech.
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Sometimes I accidentally leave the hose running or something and water too much. I think women are like that but sometimes leave their mouth running and forget that its going long after they have said enough. I think men realize this and engage a filter on our auditory processing portion of our brain so that we can think about other stuff.
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Oooh. …. “leave their mouth running and forget…” …mmm….!!
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I knew that would get me in to trouble.
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Yes, you thought right! I will admit to laughing though, as much as I didn’t want too, you make it hard!
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When you’re over the hill, you don’t watch what you say as much.
I did just get some good photos of some water snakes in the morning sunlight sticking their snouts out of the water.
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Haha!
Yes, you are OVER-the-Hill now, aren’t you. I don’t know that feeling. 😛
Oh gosh about the snakes, will they be on your blog today?
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Not today. I did also capture a turtle just to entice you to look.
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You are going to put Myrtle’s photo with the snake pics? No fair! LOL! But being that its just the snake’s snouts I think I can handle it. 🙂
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Yeh that was not nice. I prefer “Their mouths are running while their brain is still in Park.”
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Now my observations are based on having daughters and other women in my life and these are people I love, but I am just amazed some times at how much the talk and talk and talk, long after I would think there is anything left to say. But, I am just a goofy man, so what do I know.
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Yes, what do you know?? LOL! Obviously you don’t know how to make a helmet very fast, being that I am still waiting!
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You know more than you give yourself credit for. When my daughter phones me … she talks … I listen. Sometimes I get to squeeze a word in while she is taking a breath … but not too often. 🙂
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We do depend on the women carrying the conversation.
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I don’t see it as dependence, but rather just acknowledging the trouble involved in trying to contribute something … and realizing that the effort involved is not worth it.
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Yep, exactly.
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Where is CP! I need some wine to help me process all these crazy perceptions you all have!
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She’s probably busy talking to someone.
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Oooh……you are having fun with this! Smart aleck!
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Oh gosh! My eyes are getting quite the exercise with rolls today!
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You depend on us to bring sanity to the conversation! 🙂
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Yes, sanity, in much the same way salted caramel and whipped cream and other dairy catastrophes bring sanity to coffee.
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…mmm…!!
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The only “dairy catastrophe” was your apricot,raspberry, butterscotch salted caramel , with marshmallows latte! 😜
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I like that analogy.
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Yeah that is just so much “nicer!” 😛
You are full of …….. wit today, aren’t you!
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Ha!
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What you sow … you shall also reap!
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Haha! Yeah…….I may identify with this quote very well!
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You may have had several quotes to share but I like this one the best.
“A man was offered a wish by a genie. He asked that the genie would make him smarter than any other man in the world. His wish was granted, the genie turned him into a woman!”
If I am going to reap trouble, I may as well have fun at sowing it! 😄
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… and you believe in a quote that includes a genie!. Totally delusional! A good representation of a typical woman though. Well done!
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😶🤚
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This quote is obviously flawed. We have a Genie garage door opener, and the only wish it can grant is to open or close the door.
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Its not flawed, just a problem with certain people understanding it!
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It’s such a vivid description, isn’t it? It’s helpful because it’s so easy to visualize.
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Not sure that “helpful!” was the word going through my head!
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I think so, too. And then women pull a cruel trick on us. In the middle of all their yabbering over nothing, they’ll throw in some crucial, critical information. And then later, when we screw up because we didn’t know about the important information, they’ll say, don’t you remember when I told you about that yesterday?
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Or think about nothing at all.
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I love the Nothing Box. It’s my favorite place to take a nap.
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Now why doesn’t that surprise me?
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It shows how smart men are, to invent a box like this.
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Pffft
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Ooooh pleeeeeze!
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Maybe it’s because men don’t listen. We might stop if we felt heard..hmmm
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I don’t think so
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I didn’t hear what she had to say.
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Did she say something? Didn’t hear a thing. Probably “same old same old”. I don’t hear that stuff.
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Me either. Goes straight in one ear and out the other.
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So true. My Dad used to tell me “It goes in this ‘ere ear … and out that there ear”!
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Heh-heh. That’s a good one. Your dad sounds like a funny guy.
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Of course it does for there is a BIG vacant space inbetween!
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No, it’s the opposite. We’re so smart there’s no room left in our brains for your tomfoolery.
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How do you know?
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What did she say?
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Did she repeat herself perhaps? That often shuts my ears down.
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Indeed. If it wasn’t worth listening to the first time, why pay attention the second time?
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I rest my case…
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Resting is always good.
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Le sigh…
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We listen more than we let on.
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Well this is an interesting development. Do tell..
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Tell what?
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You forgot already didn’t you. Too many marbles clinking around there?
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I should pay better attention.
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A salted caramel latte would probably help!
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What would that help?
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Would help you pay better attention.
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You listen more than we know?
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Sometimes, if we’ve already seen that commercial.
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Lol! That made me laugh.
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We like details! A friend has a baby. The new husband tells my husband. I ask about the baby. It was a boy and I get the first name. Thats all!
Now if I talk to the new Mom. I find out the baby’s weight, length, middle name, how long the labor was, etc. Its all in the details, thats why the “speech!”
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Really? You get the name?
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No, I don’t get the name, smartie!
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I mean your husband got the first name of the baby. I’d never think to ask about that if someone told me they were a new father. But I might ask if it was a boy or a girl.
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LOL! Yes, he did think to ask the name. 🙂 Guess I should be pleased!
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if you believe in evolution and logic, then the answer seems apparent given that there are only two choices, that men’s ears work or they are just for show.
If they are just for show, that suggests they serve no purpose. Over time, evolution would have dictated our ears would have gone away, much like the tail our ancestors used to have. But since we still have our ears, that would suggest they still work. Mic drop… 🙂
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I think that settles it. Men’s ears really do work. Perhaps evolution has a way of shutting them down when they’re overloaded. Such as when a woman’s brain is in Park, while her mouth is still running.
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Rolling my eyes at your “logic!”
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I guess that means you can’t find a flaw in it… 🙂
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That’s a logical way to look at it.
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“No comment!” 😛
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Hey Jim. Note that she could not simply not respond, but rather had to comment with no comment! Good example of mouth and brain not communicating.
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…mmm…! Someday I just may be able to “simply not respond…” to certain stooges! 😛
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again… 🙂
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Smart aleck!
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How well though? Double mike drop.
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I mean mic drop.
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Sir Winston Churchill was a highly respected man who had some distinct opinions – ““An old battleaxe of a woman said to Winston Churchill, “If you were my husband I would put poison in your tea.” Churchill’s response, “Ma’am if you were my wife I would drink it.”
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That’s a great quote from the old Bulldog. I think I stole it once, many years ago. But there’s no need to put poison in tea, as tea is already poison.
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I’ve made some tea…
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LOL! Ready to serve, right!
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Most definitely!
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“Men should only believe half of what women say … but which half?”
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Maybe in Carolyn’s case, the half that comes from her sister’s side of her brain.
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“Very funnny!”
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I thought you’d enjoy that.
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“No comment!”
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A man of logic. I like that. 🙂
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“Logic?” If you say so! I know another word for it!
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Struth.
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Struth??
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Yes, it’s an abbreviated, conjunctive acronym, denoting, “It’s truth.”
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If you say so!
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Struth.
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🙄
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…mmm…!!
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“A quiet man is a thinking man. A quiet women is trouble.”
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Is that also Churchill?
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No. Not sure of origin … but it’s very perceptive. 🙂
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Oh yes. You stole some good quotes today.
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Sometimes. My Hubby would prefer the silent treatment and that tics me off.
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Your husband is a smart man. The Silent Treatment is the best punishment there is. I love it.
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Gah!
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Better duck a empty wine bottle is being thrown your way. Silent treatment is awful!
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!#%Donk*#!
Ouch!
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“The happiest marriage one can imagine,would be a deaf man to a blind woman.”
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Gee, if only I had seen all these quotes before posting my quotes post! Shaking my head! Brad may not be deaf, but He is still HAPPY! 🙂
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Sounds like my late in-laws.
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A blind woman may not be able to cook and do laundry for you then…
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Truth!
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Then what would they do. Wear dirty clothes and go to a friends house who has a sited woman to cook for them?!
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No problem there. Lived on my own for many years and have no problem with either cooking or laundry.
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But do you do it now that you’re not on your own?
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When invited into the kitchen … of course.
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So not much…
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Yeah, men don’t need women to cook or do laundry. Also, we can work on cars.
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So do you do the laundry???
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Only my own. I started doing my own laundry years ago, after my wife kept losing my socks and other articles of clothing.
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You probably just didn’t look hard enough for them. My dear husband was asking me where his shirt was the other day. Saying how he hasn’t seen it in so long that I must have lost it in the wash. A few minutes later he sheepishly comes out with it on. He found it in the closet, what a shocking place for it to be! 🙂
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No, my wife kept all the clean clothes in a giant mountain of finished laundry, on a table next to the dryer. If you wanted matching socks, you’d have to put on a snorkel and dive into the pile, to search.
At least your husband logically decided to look in the first place his shirt was likely to be.
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Wait! So I been doing laundry wrong all these years.by folding it and putting it away???
Yes, my husband tends to be very logical, apparently I rubbed off on him! 😜
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That’s right. Apparently nobody taught you the Mountain Method. It works very well for those who don’t mind wearing mismatched socks.
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Hey mismatched socks were very cool when my kids were in middle school. Its what you did! 🙂
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That’s funny. When I was a kid, you’d be tarred and feathered for wearing mismatched socks.
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LOL! Yes, how times change! It drove me crazy at first but then it actually was nice, for matching socks tend to get eaten up by the dryer!
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For awhile, I only wore white socks. That way I could always find a match.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! {catching my breath} HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
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Umm, (plugging ears), I can’t hear you.
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😂😂
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