This is the next installment of my autobiography, The Birth of Tippy Gnu.
To read the previous installment, click this link.
To start at the beginning, click this link.
The Second Trimester,
Part 2:
The Lie
Early on in the second trimester I saw my family jewels form. And that’s when I knew I was going to be a boy. If I survived. But this made no difference to me. I had no preference for gender, because I knew how crazy life is for all humans.
Each sex has its own advantages and disadvantages, and it’s no more better to be a boy than a girl. No matter what gender you sport between your legs, it’s what you carry between your ears that really matters. I hoped that I would be born with a brain smart enough to cut through the craziness of life, and avoid at least some of the misery that so many humans put themselves through.
As the fetus that would house me developed, my supernatural powers deteriorated. I could hover about 5 feet above my mother’s belly until late in the fourth month. Then I felt myself drawn in by that damnable tail, closer and closer to her womb. I struggled against the pull, but to no avail.
One day the fetus kicked a little. And with that tiny little movement my spirit was sucked halfway into the fetal body. Now the best I could do for freedom of movement was to poke my head outside the womb and observe what was going on directly in front of my mother.
I could still read minds, and I still retained my fond memories of the Other Side. But I couldn’t roam more than a foot away from my mother’s belly button. From that vantage, I observed my family. I observed the house I might soon live in, if the doctors had their way. And I observed X-ray machines, and medical probes, and people in white uniforms who put on a good show of caring and kindness toward the owner of my womb. And I felt my mother absorb all that attention like a rising starlet with newfound fame. I heard her heart pound with joy.
Mom got the cancer diagnosis at 15 weeks. At 18 weeks, she saw an oncologist. She sat on the examining table while I poked my head out and watched this specialist. The oncologist seemed immersed in thought, while studying some papers at a desk. After about a minute he looked up, adjusted his glasses, and solemnly announced, “Mrs. Morabundus, this diagnosis is extremely serious. There’s a good chance that you won’t survive if you don’t have an abortion and complete hysterectomy, immediately. And I’m hoping even now that it’s not too late.”
“Mrs. Morabundus?” my mom asked aloud, and I to myself.
The doctor quickly looked back at his papers and studied them for a few seconds, while presssing his finger on the top line of a page. “Yes,” he asserted, “Blanche Moribundus. It says right here. You are Blanche Moribundus, aren’t you?”
My mother furrowed her eyebrows. “Nooo. I’m Savanna Gnu. Savanna Green Gnu.”
The doctor now furrowed his own eyebrows. He returned to the paperwork. He shuffled it about. He examined various pages. He muttered words like, “Hmm,” “Wow,” and “Oh dear.” Then he mumbled, “Excuse me for a minute,” and he picked up all the paperwork and walked out of the office.
For about 10 minutes we heard muffled yelling and scoldings from another room. It sounded exciting, and I so wished I could fly over and watch the action, but my head could travel no further than my mom’s damned bellybutton.
Finally the doctor returned. He bowed his head in shame. His hands trembled. He collected his thoughts. Then he looked up directly into my mom’s eyes. “Mrs. Gnu,” his voice shook, “I’m afraid there’s been a terrible mistake. But-but not-not for you. This is good news for you! Our lab mixed up the medical records and it turns out you do not have cancer after all. Your tumor is benign. It should be removed when you give birth, but at present it poses no danger to you or your fetus.”
My mom was stunned. Her eyes widened, and she sat silent for about 15 seconds. This was another one of the longest periods of silence I’d ever witnessed her go through, except when sleeping.
Mom didn’t like this news, and she resisted. After that quarter minute, she opened her mouth and began arguing with the medico. But he held firmly to the facts presented in her corrected medical records. Finally she got up and left, feeling disheartened and frustrated. What would she tell everyone who had been giving her so much love and sympathy? How could she deal with no longer being the focus of everyone’s attention? It seemed her three weeks of fame was over.
I too, felt disheartened and frustrated. Now it seemed there was no way I could avoid birth. The Other Side seemed further away from me now, than at any other point thus far in this ordeal.
Then my mom did something incredible. She hid this “good” news from her family. She continued on as if the cancer diagnosis was still valid, and let everyone believe she was still waging a heroic battle to save her baby against all odds.
I was the only one who knew it was a lie. But what could I do? I couldn’t communicate with anyone. I was stuck in her belly as a passive observer, my ethereal head protruding out, watching, listening, and reading minds to some extent. But I had no power to make others read my mind.
I noticed that the further along my fetus body developed, the weaker my metaphysical powers grew. But my memory of the Other Side remained strong. I longed to return, but knew it was impossible. I didn’t want to live in a world so cold and complicated that a person might want to lie in order to be loved. I longed for simpler times, where psychic communication prevented deception, and where beings could not play games and trick each other so easily.
Come on back in a few days, or so, for the next installment of The Birth of Tippy Gnu, entitled, The Second Trimester, Part 3: Slumber.
Categories: Series (Family): The Birth of Tippy Gnu
Well, that was one hell of a medical error, Tippy Morabundus, I mean, Tippy Gnu. What if your mamma had aborted on the basis of that grave cancer diagnosis? Yikes! Like I said, yours was a compelling story even before your arrival. Does life post-birth seem boring to you compared to your rollercoaster existence in the womb? And yes, it is unfortunate that humans will deceive each other and operate on ulterior motives to get what they want and need, but it must be easier than going about it honestly because many are still doing it. 🙂
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No, life is never boring. I think it’s only when we give up on life that things become boring.
Maybe it’s easier in the short run to get what we want by deceiving others, but eventually that sort of strategy has a way of backfiring. I would only recommend it for the most desperate situations.
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Carolyn, bottle o’ wine comin’ atcha!
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Got it!! Thanks!
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Joan seems to be getting better and better at this game, every day.
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She does, its a good thing isn’t it! 😄
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Is that a rhetorical question?
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You don’t have to answer I know you agree! 🙂
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Pffft.
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Oh heck, I wasn’t looking.
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Wow! You did have quite the pre-birth life!
I feel for poor Mrs Morabundus who thought she was OK only to bw told there was a mistake made!
For being still in the womb you are very perceptive! It is sad indeed tor one to lie and deceive just to feel loved. To play on people’s emotions like that! Like Joan said sadly there are people that still do it.
My daughter had a cloae friend whose Mom was horrible in the way she treated her! When the daughter was old enough to move out, she did! Then guess who received a “cancer” diagnosis! Who put a guilt trip on her daughter so that she would move back in! Soooo messed up!!! Her daughter did move back in and felt guilty until she learned that there was no cancer diagnosis! Now the daughter lives in another state, far away from her Mom!
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Oh wow, what a wicked mother. That would make a good story. Faking cancer is a pretty lowdown thing to do, in my view. I imagine those two only see each other at weddings and funerals, anymore.
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Totally low down! I never had any problems with my kids friends but some of their parents were a different story! Well okay there were a couple friends that turned out to not be the greatest,, but I think we all have dealt with friends like that when we were young.
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Yes, our kid’s friends sometimes kept us on our toes. But their parents could be much scarier.
One stepfather of our daughter’s friend built a little dungeon in his garage. He used it to tie up and rape his step-daughters. One of them turned him in, but when the police came after him, he fled into the desert with a shotgun. They finally found his body in a wash, where he had committed suicide.
The mother never forgave her daughters for turning him in. And that’s just one wild story I could tell you.
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Oh you can’t be serious, can you!! Thats awful! And thats just one story? Oh gosh!
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Yeah, our daughter was kind of a social outcast. So she tended to associate with troubled children, and they often brought their troubles to our doorstep.
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How fortunate for your daughter’s friends that they had you guys to go too! And nice of your daughter to befriend them!
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I guess that was kind of fortunate. I think we were an island of refuge on many occasions for young, troubled kids.
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I knew you had a good heart, just a big softie. 🙂 An island of refuge is needed by many!
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Boy ain’t that the truth.
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Wow, that was different. So did your mother have something like Munchausen syndrome by proxy prior to birthing you? Or would this be the opposite of that? This is so confusing. Mona 🙂
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I think she was a bit of the Munchausen type. When I was four years old, I was admitted to the hospital on about three or four occasions, for pneumonia. They’re my earliest memories.
The recurring pneumonia puzzled the doctors. I’ve sometimes wondered if she was figuring out ways to induce the pneumonia, requiring me to return to the hospital over and over. But I have no proof of that. Just a slight suspicion.
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Oh gosh, you just like to shock me tonight don’t you! We recently watched a show where a Mom kept making her kid stop breathing and she would call 911 and then rescuitate the child by the time 911 got there.
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That’s awful. I have no proof my Mom was a Munchausen type. Just suspicion. But I was a strange medical mystery for awhile, at that hospital, which does leave me wondering.
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Yes, I was watching the show thinking “HOW???” My husband and son enjoy watching 48 hours and Forensic Evidence. They can be interesting, but they do often leave me shaking my head, totally not understanding people!
Glad to know that whether or not your Mom was the Munchausen type, that you did survive! Your Unicorn looked out for you! 🙂
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Thanks. I’ve grown to appreciate unicorns, over the years.
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You summed it up perfectly. For all the wonders that exist in this world – including procreation itself – It is a sad and strange what some people will do to feel loved.
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It can baffle the mind. And often those sad and strange things prove counterproductive, leading to ever more sad and strange methods.
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there’s a lot of deception surrounding your birth…
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I know. Sometimes I wonder if I was even born.
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It’s amazing what you can remember before birth…
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You can remember lots of things before birth. It’s after birth when it gets tricky.
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I don’t think I’d want to remember the after birth. LOL
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Yeah, it’s kind of gunky and yucky.
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Lol!
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