Help! Wine Catchers Wanted!
I need help catching wine. Cranky Pants has been smuggling virtual bottles of wine across the Canadian border, to Carolyn, at JoyRoses13. She does this by “tossing” them over the border, through comments she leaves on my blog. For instance, she may say in her comment: “Here’s a bottle of wine.” Then Carolyn replies: “Got it!”
But if I reply to Cranky Pants first, and write, “Got it,” then I intercept the wine bottle and prevent Carolyn from catching it. I’ve managed to intercept some of that wine over the past few weeks, but sadly most of it has been caught by Carolyn.
I fear Carolyn has become quite the oenophile, with the staggering amount of wine she has to dispose of. Also, consider how much money U.S. Customs is losing, due to all this smuggled wine. I need help interdicting this brew, and so does Customs. But most importantly, Carolyn needs help, whether she’s willing to admit it or not.
So I’m asking all my followers to be on the lookout for Cranky Pants’ comments. Whenever she says she’s tossing wine to Carolyn, please reply to her, “Got it!” before Carolyn gets the chance to reply first. In this way, we can prevent illegal and costly bootlegging, and help Carolyn defeat her wine-guzzling demon.
It takes a village to help us all survive in this world, and I’m confident volunteers from the virtual village of the internet can help in this caring campaign. Thanks in advance for your wine-catching efforts!
Just don’t interfere with the coffee supply.
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Okay. But if they decide to start tossing coffee to each other, you’re welcome to intercept it and stock your cupboards with it.
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I like Brazilian dark roast, whole beans. Thanks.
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Yes, just worry about the coffee! Don’t listen to Tippy’s pleas for help! You 2 “help” each other enough I think! Yes, my head may still be hurting from last night’s puns,etc. Then I wake up to this post! But hey I have gained an extra bottle of wine from it, thanks to Joan! Poor Tippy!
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No, I got that wine. You’ve gained nothing so far. Now if Jason would pitch in, and maybe Colin and some others, we can help you with your little habit.
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Ummm….scroll down I did get the last bottle that Joan sent. 🙂
Jason is only worried about his coffee! Ha!
And Colin may not see this, and I probably have quicker reflexes than he does. 🙂
Do you want to go in your hole yet?
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Okay, I did, and I must admit that you did catch one bottle of wine this morning. But I caught two, so I’m ahead.
It seems you’re picking on the elderly again. I don’t know how good Colin’s reflexes are, but with his command of logic and extensive life experience, I don’t think you’d be a match for him at this wine-catching game.
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Ahead you say? CP sent me 10! Plus you haven’t got the help that you were looking for, so as far as my calculations I would say you are BEHIND! And YUP! It feels good to have the tables turned for once, for that is something that I am not usually Ahead in!
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Naturally you’re ahead. Look at all the people against me. I’m surprised I’m doing as well as I am.
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Have 10 more bottles and some whisky.
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HI CP! Thanks! Got it! 10 plus whiskey, you are generous today! Its a good thing Tippy posted, eh! 🙂
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Boy, Customs is losing lots of money today.
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Definitely a good thing. Here’s some Tequila!
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Got it!
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You’d better make sure you have some salt and lemon with that.
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Got it!
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Le sigh
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Noooo! That was the first that she threw Tequila!
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So sorry for you.
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Oh boy, now you guys are hitting the hard stuff.
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But of course!
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Why not?
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Lack of coffee makes me cranky
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Well we can’t have that, but you could still throw some my way. Then I could catch wine and coffee and poor Tippy would be left in the dust! 🙂
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Don’t listen to her. She’s a very bad influence.
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Don’t tell him what to do, he can think for himself! Just throw the coffee and wine my way Jason, it will make my day!
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Hmmmph.
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😄
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Well you’ll fit right in here then.
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Carolyn, I’m tossing you some wine in case your bottle from Crankypants gets intercepted. Turns out I have a few extras. Also found Charmin TP at the grocery for the first time in 3 months–SCORE! Life is good. Reply quickly or Tippy will grab it. 🙂
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Got it. Now just a second, this is not the “help” I was looking for.
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Bawhahaha! You asked for it!
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No, that is not what I asked for. But it appears I have misgauged my followers.
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Sorry I missed your first bottle! We found Charmin too! Definitely something that deserves a toast! 🙂 CLINK!
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CLUNK! I’ll drink to that.
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By your calculations, Tippy, I now have a 6 month supply of TP (6 mega rolls) if I use my spritzer bottle. Thank your wife for me for the tip! Maybe pass along one of those bottles of wine to her. 🙂
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Yes, that Charmin lasts a long time for those who are judicious.
My wife doesn’t drink wine, as she regards it as poison, just like me. We use wine to clean our drains.
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I’ll throw you the cheap stuff next time.
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The cheap stuff does do a better job at cleaning out drains, I must admit.
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Thanks I can use all the help I can get. Here’s some more wine to send her!
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Thanks, I thought I was gonna have to resort to the boxed stuff. My slingshot has a hard time with anything bigger than a gallon. 🙂
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Lol! You’re welcome. I have your back. Here’s 10 more to send her.
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Will do. What are (co-dependent) friends for?
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You guys are cracking me up! Yes, what are friends for! Thanks! 🙂
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Lol
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Got it.
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Well dammit.
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Hehehehehehe.
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Hopefully it will all put you to sleep soon.
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It probably will. That’s not hard to do.
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Shhh..You’re sleeping.
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Then you can throw more Tequila!
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Exactly!
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You didn’t say “got it”. Sorry, but I beat you to it.
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Dang! But I was polite and said Thank you!
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You’re welcome.
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“Funny!”
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Got it.
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What did you get, Tippy? I haven’t even thrown it yet. I’m waiting until you are safely back in the womb, tethered by your tail, and unable to reach that far.
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I’m getting a little confused, but I think at some point CP threw some wine to you. So I think I got it. But maybe I’d better just climb back into the womb and take a nap.
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Sorry, Tip, I missed that. I never got CP’s wine because YOU got it. I thought the GOT IT rule was only for Carolyn, silly me. I’m not much of a chess player, I think I’m doing well and BAM! Checkmate! Well, crap, now I have to put my mask on and go to the store.
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Heh-heh, you’ll learn. Yes, go to the store. Because wine is an “essential” item, apparently.
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I’ll get some bread and milk too, and just sort of slip in the wine. My “case” should hold up if anyone asks any questions. 🙂
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Good thinking.
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Thanks for trying! You will become a Pro in no time! Good luck at the store! 🙂
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You’re supposed to be napping.
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I am. I do this in my sleep.
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That’s cheating.
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Really? Then why do you guys keep wishing I would fall asleep?
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Oh no reason..
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Dang! Carolyn, are you there? Here comes another one!
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Got it. Nice try, but she’s probably sleeping.
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Enjoy those, Tippy. They were both rosés. I have only one bottle left, so I’m gonna wait awhile, until Carolyn’s up and actually has a chance of catching it.
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LOL! Thanks Joan!! Sorry that I wasn’t around to catch it, but your generous help is so appreciated! I am here now! 🙂
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see below
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You’re a sneaky one, aren’t you?
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😂😂😂
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I know, we’re crazy, aren’t we?
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No better place for crazy fun than here at Tipsy’s blog. I mean, Tippy’s blog.
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Uh-huh.
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I think you had it right by saying “Tipsy!” That is why he has sooo much trouble catching the wine that is thrown, he can’t balance, falls over and I catch it! 🙂
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I don’t think so. How can I be Tipsy when I’m not catching any wine?
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Ready, Carolyn? Here it comes!
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Got IT! 🙂
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YEA! Happy to help, though I probably got myself in a hole just now. Enjoy it. Best when chilled.
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You were a great help, so nice that Tippy put out the help wanted post, eh! ::)
Don’t worry about the hole, I have a very well used shovel, I will help get you out! Tippy sent out a desperate plea for help and you helped! He should be appreciative!
Got it on the ice now!
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He should be. And I have the other shovel to help. Here’s some more wine.
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Got it! Thaks!
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Dadgummit.
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LOL!! Not your day is it!
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It’s not going as expected. I thought at least Jason would help.
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One never knows maybe I bribed him! 😄
Or maybe he is feeling guilty from last night! You obviously didn’t! I wake up to this post saying I need help…..BUT it has turned out better than I expected. 😃
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Apparently, everyone likes you because they think you are sweet.
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Sweet like wine! 😂
You might need a lot of help getting out of this hole!
Perhaps Jim will take pity on you or perhaps I bribed him too!
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I didn’t realize the internet could be so corrupt.
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Here are some helpful emojis to describe your feelings perhaps…..🤚😶
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Yeah, that about says it.
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😂
I do believe my smile is as bright as the sun right now. LOL!
Glad I could be helpful!
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😜
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You’re on a roll. 10 more bottles for you.
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Got it!
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You did not!
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Yep, I did.
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You hooligan
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Thief!
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And proud of it.
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“Haha!”
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Damn! This one snuck by me. This is why I need help.
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And your friends are being so “helpful” aren’t they! LOL!!
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Yeah, right. I just can’t afford to bribe them, like you.
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Haha! I didn’t say I bribed them, just perhaps. Maybe I promised them all beach houses!
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False promises only digs you holes for the future. The tide will turn.
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Nah! The tide is flowing really nice right now!
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That’s an undertow you’re feeling.
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Haha! We will see!
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Well hell.
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I am shaking my head! I can’t believe you posted this! LOL! My eyes saw it, but my mind was saying, “ooh he didn’t!”
BUT it may be a good thing, for now I can catch wine from Joan and CP! Thanks for the help!
And just to clarify, I don’t have a problem! I am not an oenophile, though I don’t know what that means, but I am not! LOL!
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Yeah, don’t worry, apparently, my plea for help has backfired. And where is Jason? Why did he let you catch that last bottle of wine. This really sucks.
Of course you don’t have a problem. Of course not. Now there’s a nice meeting in your neighborhood that happens once a week, where you can go and tell them all about you not having a problem.
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Heh heh! Gotta love a good backfire when it’s not happening to me. 😉
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Your turn will come up soon enough.
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Neva!
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Looks to me like it’s already happening.
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Dammit.
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So true! High five! 🙂
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🖐
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Thanks for the good laughter today! Hahaha!
CP I think I need more wine to celebrate, or Joan you are welcome to send it too. 🙂 Jason you can throw coffee if you want!
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Yes, and please throw all this stuff now.
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Some of us have to turn our compromised attention span to work during the day. Sorry.
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That’s okay. But you could have called in sick, you know. Catching virtual wine bottles is much more important than work.
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Ordinarily, but it’s end of quarter.
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Sounds like crunch time, to me.
One day when you retire from all the stress and strains of the rat race, this is what you have to look forward to. Silly games on the internet.
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Oh, I was planning on patrolling the neighborhood and yelling at people who don’t cut their yard in time.
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That’s an option too. Be the grumpy old man who nags yard slackers.
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Or you could mow their lawns for them, thats an idea, so that you don’t get bored. 🙂
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I just got rid of my scraggly gray beard, so I am now 20 years younger. Don’t have to worry anymore about this.
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Hmmm…..you may look 20 years younger but I don’t think that your age changed! Sorry to burst your bubble! You still are OLDer, Tippy is OLDer too and Colin and Jim and…..I do enjoy feeling young! 🙂
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One day you’ll catch up with us, and be sorry you’ve said all these mean things about older people.
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Bawhahaha!
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That sure seems important to you. Must be related to why you love talking animals stories.
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Haha! I see I have to remind you again that it was YOU who first suggested to have a talking animal!
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You sure about that? You came up with a talking chicken and Betsy. What kind of animal is alabaster?
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But remember the talking dog, that you had suggested? That was before Charlie( who you killed!) And Betsy! 🙂
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Did you have a talking dog in your stories?
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You mean in the story on my blog when you said to give the farmer a talking dog? Yes, I listened and gave him a talking dog. 🙂
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That was based on the farmer and his wife each having 3 wishes. He wished for a talking dog to keep him company on his long days in the fields.
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Good memory! It was your suggestion , so see you were the one to think of having talking animals. Though I just remembered something but lets just go with the fact that you were the one that suggested having a talking dog. LOL! ☺
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So, we can both agree that I am a brilliant creative type.
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Well now if you are going to consider it brilliant coming up with talking animals than yes I will agree! And admit how your talking dog wasn’t the first talking animal.
Dewey, the cat, Odessa, the owl and Jaxon the Jackalope were actually the first! So that would make me the brilliant one too. 🙂
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Agreed
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☺ Thank you! Now if I could just remember where I put my car keys. Been using my spare set for awhile now!
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Now I’m gonna get sick.
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Oh and Alabaster is an Elf not an animal! Part of Santa’s crazy elves!
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Oh, how silly of me. Do the reindeer talk?
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Ummmm…..well yes, they may have talked a time or 2 or 3.
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Oooh, good one.
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I heard it said that men get more handsome with age. I’m going with that.
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An oenophile is a person who greatly enjoys wine and knows a lot about it; a wine lover. It’s benign, not the sort of thing where you go to meetings in a church basement and say “Hello, I’m Carolyn, and I’m an oenophile.” 🙂
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I know, but I’m trying to be kind to Carolyn. I think she’d be very embarrassed if we knew just how much wine she’s been consuming.
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Oh gosh! You meant to say just how little, right? 😛
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Uh-huh. Right.
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Perhaps Tippy is a punophile.
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Perhaps punophiles help create oenophiles.
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I think you’re onto something…
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Yes, or I’m on something.
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Another word for a pun-meister is a paronomasiac. Which to me sounds more like a dyslexic parrot who likes mayonnaise, but hey, Google is the authority in these matters so I will defer to them. 🙂
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paronomasiac? That is what my psychiatrists has me on. This explains a lot.
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Yikes! Be careful of that stuff! It has a long list of side effects including alopecia, logorrhea, salivary incontinence, and extreme flatulation. Quieting the Voices might not be worth it. 🙂
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Logorrhea? Is that where you perform trigonometric functions uncontrollably at inconvenient times?
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I think logorrhea is the same as diarrhea of the mouth. Trigonometry comes in when you try to figure out some angle to slip in a word edgewise.
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I had Lagerhea once. Probably not the same thing.
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No. That just makes you foam at the mouth. Or at least it leaves you with a foamy upper lip.
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You tell me! You’re the one who’s taking it. Maybe I need some–trig always baffled me.
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OK, but I don’t want to go off on some tangent.
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Too late. Good one, though. 🙂
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Please, don’t encourage him.
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Why don’t you ever listen to me when I say those exact words??!
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I try, but it’s too tempting.
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I am sure that you really put a lot of effort into trying !
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I kind of do. I think.
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OH Joan what have you done! You have encouraged the paro….whatamachalit !
After reading all these comments, I believe I need more wine please, care to throw some! I see that CP threw you a bunch. 🙂
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How come you never throw any wine? I could sure use some.
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Thats why I don’t, don’t want you catching it!
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It’s sineful to make puns like that.
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Well, puns should be functional.
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Between Joan, you, and me, I think we’re caught in a pun triangle.
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Which one of us is the hypotenuse?
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Not me, that’s the longest side and if my theory is correct, I’m the shortest one in the group. Who says we’re a triangle? If we count all of Jason’s multiple personalities, we might be a punoctagon.
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You remind me of my aunt Poly. I haven’t seen her recently and I don’t know where it was that Poly gone.
That was bad.
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Yeah, but maybe it’s beak-cause of Tippy’s influence, or breathing pollen from all the Geoma Trees in your yard. It can be quite toxic.
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You make some good points, which I will call A and B. Between them, anything seems possible.
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See you at the next exciting installment of Tippy’s prenatal autobiography… I’m sure there will be womb for all of us to make a few punny comments. 🙂
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Unless I abort this series.
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Ooooh.
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I don’t know, I’ll ask Pythagora.
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Maybe we should start our own Google, call it Goggle, a new way of seeing things, or Gargle, alternate information to swish around in your brain but not necessarily swallow.
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Perhaps it’s parrots who came up with the first puns. People do have a tendency to repeat them over and over, just like parrots.
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Parrots did originate fowl language.
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That’s beakcause they’re dirty birds.
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Isn’t that you not Tippy?
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I was thinking the same and I think my head is hurting now, can I have more wine?
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Yes here’s some extra strong wine.
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Ahh!! Tippy missed this one! Thanks! Got it!!
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Dad-blame-it, how in the heck did that happen?
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Those slow reflexes eh!
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I’m gonna have my eyes checked. I did not see that one coming.
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LOL! Just flew right over your head!
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GOOD! Have another bottle.
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GOT IT! 😃 poor Tippy! He thought he was getting help!
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Poor Tippy? At least I’m getting sympathy.
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Heh heh nope. Here’s another.
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got it.
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Well hell.
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Mwahahahaha!
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I guess that’s in my face.
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Yeah, what goes around comes around.
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Then could you pass me a bottle of wine please?
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Alright, whatever. Here, catch!
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Got it! Thank you. Now I feel better.
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🤪
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😎
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Wipe off that smirk!
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I tried, but it seems to be frozen in place.
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I guess we will have to try to take care of that problem once you go to sleep!
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Yikes. I’m gonna sleep with one eye open.
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Hell hell hell.
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😄😄
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Mawahaha
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Yuck-yuck-yuck.
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Yeah, I thought so. Thanks for punting the pun back to him.
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You’re welcome.
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Thanks Joan! A wine lover , I like that. 🙂
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Nobody’s questioning that you love wine. Actually, this is very obvious.
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Sounds like great fun, but I think I’ll just sit back and drink my own wine – and watch the rest of you try to dodge Border Patrol. With my luck if someone tossed me a bottle of wine, I’d only drop it and then cut my feet on the broken glass. At which point it would be a bit difficult to outrun the border agents. Of course, I could simply jump off the bridge and get swept over Niagara Falls, which also would prevent me from enjoying my wine.
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It is fun. Just wear a catcher’s mitt and some heavy boots, and you won’t have anything to worry about.
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you can all have your wine; if it was beer, I might be interested…
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All the more for me! Thank you for not interfering with the supply being smuggled to me! You probably won’t hear a “Thank you” from Tippy but I am polite! 🙂
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Oh? And who taught you such polite manners?
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Hmmm…..it might have been the same guy that tries to teach me English! I think his name begins with a C, and I do believe you helped him! I leaned the importance of saying “Thank you!” You should be proud!
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Yeah, yeah, I’m proud.
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Thank you! 😛
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You could always catch it and throw it back at them.
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that sounds like too much work…
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It is. They ought to relax and stop throwing wine around like that.
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exactly, they should stop their wining…
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You forgot the extra “n” didn’t you. Trying to spell “winning!” right? 🙂
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I think it’s more like I left out the “h”, as in “whining” 🙂
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“Funnnny!”
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Oh, and here’s a beer.
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got it!
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Heh-heh. Great. We’ll show those gals a thing or two.
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Haha! Thats what you think!
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