StolenQuotes

Quote Stealing Recidivist

By on • ( 83 Comments )

To my mind, the only possible pet is a cow. Cows love you. They will listen to your problems and never ask a thing in return. They will be your friends forever. And when you get tired of them, you can kill and eat them. Perfect. ~ Bill Bryson, Author

I once had a bullshit feature on this blog, called “Stolen Quote,” where I wrangled quotes from wise guys and gals. I then added my own little wiseass comments in an effort to udderly destroy the quotes, like a stampeding cow.

Wait. Damn. I think I’ve been reading too many of Jason Frels’ cattle tails.

I won’t hide the fact that I got tired of it, after milking this feature for many years, and I’m sure it was chapping my followers, too. But lately, some of them have forgotten about all that, and tried to lasso me into restarting the feature.

This wasn’t my first rodeo. I could resist the pressure from those clowns. But then I got to remembering how much fun it is to steal quotes, and got to imagining greener pastures. It seems the best quotes are those that have been rustled from others. Coming up with my own wise things to say just ain’t my brand.

So I’ve come to a fork in the trail, and decided to go left. It ain’t my fault though, it’s the fault of the coronavirus, because after wearing a facemask this past month I’ve grown nostalgic for my old bandit days. That’s another reason why it didn’t take much spurring from my followers to bring back Stolen Quotes.

It won’t be a dairy daily feature though, as I’m gettin’ too trailworn in my old age to carry on like that. Which is good, because no one will be saddled with too much to read. It will just be filler when I don’t have nothin’ else to post about, and I’m bored, and my wife won’t fall for my cow eyes.

So now and then expect to find some Stolen Quotes in your reader corral. This quote stealing recidivist is riding the range again. Yee-haw!

Categories: StolenQuotes

83 replies »

  1. Yay! Glad to see you making the wise decision to bring back your quotes. Not sure what “clowns” you were talking about but how wise it was of them to coerce you into bringing them back. Will look forward to this feature once agajn!

    BUT…..to steal a quote from you, I see you haven’t been “milked dry” yet of cow puns! Jason has filled your head too much!
    You may want to be on your guard against Betsy! I don’t think she would take too kindly to your stolen quote!

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  3. I think that’s bull shit calling certain followers clowns…It’s not very moooving of you. I’m just taking the bull by the horns.

    Yipee! Stolen quotes! I mean who where those clowns?

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  4. Well done, Tippy. Enough puns here to choke a cow. One of my poet friends who lived out in the country said whenever a publication rejected her poems, she would read them to the neighbor’s cows because they were always attentive, appreciative listeners. She never ate them though (the publishers, the poems, or the cows). 🙂

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    • Thanks. I think these puns are worse for cows than any locoweed.
      It’s nice to know that your poet friend helped to cultivate some class in her neighbor’s cows. Cows like that should never be eaten, in my view.

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      • Right on. What’s locoweed? If it makes them crazy, let’s keep them away from it. We don’t need any mad cow disease. My buddy wasn’t trying to impart any culture (we wouldn’t want to milk them and get yogurt!) She just felt underappreciated and wanted an audience who hung on her every word. 🙂

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        • Locoweed is any plant that grows wild that makes you go nuts if you eat it. In the Mojave desert it’s the Datura. Sometimes people will smoke it or chew it. It makes them go plumb nuts and often kills them or leads them to do dangerous things that kill them. And sometime cows get into it, and they go kind of berserk, too. But I think cows can handle it better than humans.

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  6. My sense is that you’ll keep using puns until the cows come home. Once they do come home, you can celebrate with a cow pie. By the way, does your name have anything to do with trying to tip cows in an earlier life?

    Liked by 1 person

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