I’ve been gathering coronavirus news, and now I’m taking this stifling mask off and spreading it around:
Mount Baldy, California: The Mount Baldy Mountain Resort got hit with a shitload of snow in April, but alas it was in the midst of the coronavirus lockdown. But they said, “Fuck this shit, we’re opening anyway.” Golf courses have been allowed to reopen, so in late April they took a cue from the golf courses, implemented social distancing measures, and opened up to skiers. They did not wait for permission from the government. Hell, by the time they might get that, all the snow would be melted away. So far the government seems to be leaving them alone.
Boing: The Boeing Company is bouncing back by implementing safety measures and returning thousands of its employees to work. Isn’t it nice to know they can resume building airplanes nobody wants to fly in?
Orange County, California: Beaches in Orange County, California opened up the last weekend of April. But Governor Gavin Newsom was unhappy about this, and deployed his iron fist to close them down the next weekend. But after intense pressure, and being called a party pooper, he’s now allowing them to reopen. However, anyone using the beach must stay physically active. Laying about on the sand will not be allowed. You must constantly stay on the move, whether by walking, swimming, surfing, doing cartwheels, practicing yoga, juggling beach balls, or otherwise looking like you’re doing something. I wonder if standing still is allowed as long as you’re picking your nose?
New York City: A slew of calls poured into New York City’s Poison Control Center, from people who drank Lysol, bleach, and other household cleaners, the day after President Trump suggested injecting disinfectant to fight Covid-19. The Center says they received twice the amount of calls they normally receive for such poisonings. But the good news is that none of the callers died, either from poisoning or from Covid-19.
Bakersfield, California: Two doctors held a news conference that went viral on YouTube, claiming that the death rate of Covid-19 isn’t nearly as high as officials are leading the public to believe. They called for stay-at-home orders to end. They also criticized Dr. Fauci of the CDC, stating, “We’re actually seeing the patients. Dr. Fauci hasn’t seen a patient in 20 years.” YouTube has removed the video of the press conference, explaining that YouTube prohibits content that explicitly disputes the efficacy of local health authority recommended guidance on social distancing. I understand that this censorship of opposing viewpoints to CDC guidelines also occurs on Facebook and Twitter. Whew! It’s a good thing that YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter have recognized just how stupid we are, and are here to help us make the right decisions about how to deal with this virus.
Albany, New York: Governor Cuomo has expressed shock that 84% of new coronavirus hospitalizations are people who are mostly staying home, and not going outside much. Does this mean the CDC has completely fucked up, and given us the opposite recommendation of what we must do to stay alive? And what happens next? Will the CDC change it’s policy and recommend we get the hell out of our homes? Will our governors issue “stay-away-from-home” orders, and force us to be locked out, rather than locked down? They reversed their policy on wearing masks, so who knows what’s coming next from the CDC.
Los Alamos, New Mexico: Researchers at the Los Alamos National Laboratory have reported on May 5, that the coronavirus has mutated into a new, more contagious strain that is spreading across the U.S. This is very depressing, fucked up news. We’re DOOMED!
Reactions of Experts to the Experts at Los Alamos: Dr. Scott Gottlieb, of CNBC reacted to the news of May 5, about the new, more contagious strain of coronavirus, by urging caution. He stated that the study by Los Alamos has not been peer-reviewed and “doesn’t prove anything.” He also divulged a well-known fact within scientific circles, that is apparently not well known to the general public. And that is, viruses generally mutate into weaker strains, not stronger. This is all about evolution. Viruses cannot survive long if they kill off their hosts, so they tend to become weaker over time, because they want to keep their hosts alive. Other doctors seem to concur, with one claiming that this is “Virology 101.” Okay, so maybe we’re not doomed. Perhaps it’s best to stop reading the news.