This is the last installment of my Improving Our Bird Brains series. By now we must be birdbrain geniuses. We’ve become so smart that I think there’s little room for further improvement, and therefore no more need for these featherbrained posts.
Before I get into the Brown pelican bird, I want to warn readers that there’s a tobacco substitute, as well as several sex acts, also called the Brown pelican. It’s all disgusting and vile, and anyone who’s asked if they’d like a Brown pelican is well advised to run like hell.
As for the bird, there are eight species of pelicans worldwide, divided into two groups: the browns and the whites, with four species of browns (actually, some are grayish pink), and four species of whites (actually, one is black and white, and one is grayish white). It appears that whoever did the dividing was also a little birdbrained.

This is the kind of Brown pelican I’m referring to.
The skies and waters of the United States host only two of these species of pelican, imaginatively called the Brown pelican and the American white pelican. These birds have a lot of similarities, but there are also some differences.
For instance all pelicans feed by swimming around in the water until they spot a fish, then plunging their beaks in and grabbing it. However, Brown pelicans also often fish by flying more than 30 to 60 feet above the water, and diving in head first. Diving from such heights is a derring-do that no other pelican possesses.

A Brown pelican diving for fish, at Bahia Honda State Park, Florida.
In shallow waters, pelicans will use teamwork to catch fish. Several form a line, and drive small schools into the shallow waters by beating their wings against the water. Then they dive in and scoop up their prey. Those who don’t get any fish, punch out on a time clock and have to wait until every other Friday for their share of the catch.

A couple of Brown pelicans fishing together, at Bahia Honda State Park, Florida.
Pelicans often catch multiple fish before eating, and store them in their big throat pouch. In order to eat the fish, a pelican has to tilt its beak forward to drain the water from the pouch. This can take up to a full minute, and gives other sea birds a chance to zip in and steal the food right out of the pelican’s mouth. This must be draining for pelicans, in more ways than one.
Brown pelicans are masterful fliers. They often fly in group formation, skimming the ocean just inches above the waves. They have long, broad wings, with an unusually large number of 30 to 35 secondary flight feathers. They use these great wings to create an air cushion between themselves and the ocean, and this enables them to glide very close to the water without touching the surface. It’s an effortless way to fly, and they often employ it to travel long distances.
But when pelicans need to fly further, they go high instead of low. They catch a thermal and soar to heights up to 10,000 feet. Then they glide for distances over 90 miles, to feeding areas.
Pelicans nest in colonies, and are monogamous. But they only stay married for one season. After that, it’s Splitsville, and off to a new mate with each new season. And as usual, the lawyers get everything.

These Brown pelicans off of Florida’s Little Torch Key have long faces, because it’s raining.
People are stupid when it comes to pelicans. For centuries human beans have tried to kill these great birds off, because they’re seen as competition for fish. However most of the fish that pelicans eat are not the type that people eat. They’re not much competition at all.
But this hasn’t stopped large culling campaigns, dating back to the 19th century in America. And it’s still happening. In 2016, the Idaho Fish and Game department launched an attack on pelicans with the goal of cutting their population in half. And this even though they are classified as a “species of greatest conservation need.” Fuckin’ potato heads.

Pelicans eat lots of fish, but not usually the kind humans eat.
Human ignorance has also led to pelicans being revered. In medieval times they were thought to be self-sacrificial parents that would wound their own breasts and feed their own blood to their young, when no other food was available. This is a myth, brought on by the observation that pelicans sometimes press their bills very hard into their chests. But they’re not stabbing themselves with their bills. Actually, they’re trying to completely empty their pouches and finish swallowing all their caught fish.

Religious statue of a pelican wounding its breast to feed its young. Photo by Andreas Praefcke. CC BY 3.0.
Nonetheless this myth of self-sacrifice has allowed the pelican admission into Christian iconology, as they remind the pious of Christ’s self-sacrifice. It’s not uncommon to see drawings of these birds on the cover pages of bibles, or to see pelican statues at churches or other Christian institutions. Which I think is appropriate, since I find religion hard to swallow, just like the pelican trying to empty its pouch.
DDT caused a major decline in the population of pelicans in the 1950s and 1960s, but they have since made an impressive recovery. Today there are around a quarter-million Brown pelicans in the United States and the Caribbean, and more than 150,000 American white pelicans in the United States.
I have no more to say about the pelican, so I’ll leave off with these words, often misattributed to Ogden Nash, but actually written in 1910 by American poet Dixon Lanier Merritt:
A wonderful bird is the pelican.
His bill will hold more than his belican.
He can take in his beak,
Food enough for a week,
But I’m damned if I see how the helican.
Categories: Nature
No more bird posts? But there are so many more birds out there! 🙂 Have enjoyed your posts and feel ever so much smarter.
Pelicans make me think of the Finding Nemo movie that we watched many times when our kids were younger.
Yes, humans can be stupid for sure! That is awful about the killing of them! They are an amazing bird.
Never had heard the myth about them wounding their breast. I can assure you that pictures of that are not in any Bibles that I have read. People are just crazy!
LOL at rhe poem!
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Thanks. There are a lot of birds out there, but I’d go cuckoo trying to write about them all.
I’m guessing you’re not Catholic. I think it’s some Catholic bibles that have the pelicans. And maybe Presbyterian. I vaguely recall seeing pelican images on the cover pages of books, but I can’t remember when or where, or whether or not they were religious books.
Yes, that’s a funny poem.
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Oooh but the Cuckoo bird would be a great one to write about. There are certain names of people, that come to mind when thinking of the Cuckoo bird, though they shall remain nameless. 🙂
No, I am not Catholic, but I wouldn’t be surprised if their bibles have the pictures . I am curious now, may have to look it up!
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I’m thinking, Colin, Crazy Pants, and hmm, someone else whose name begins with a C . . .
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Hmmm….Your first name would be correct… Nope, you are wrong about the other name beginning with a C. There is still the letter T and J out there, just saying!
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I have no idea who those fine folks would be.
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LOL! Yeah, I am soooo sure that don’t!
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I hope it’s not me!
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Nope! Tippy doesn’t know what he is talking about but whats new, right. 😉
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Well that’s true and a relief that it’s him. 🤣
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LOL!😄
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Was that a comment, or the call of the Cuckoo bird?
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If you had some wine, you’d know..
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Backtracking now, I see.
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Ha Ha! Nope!
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Carolyn sure seemed to imply it’s you, eh?
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Oh gosh! Did not you nut! 😛
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Now you deny it.
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Of course!
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Nooo…neva
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I was barely through laughing over this: “Which I think is appropriate, since I find religion hard to swallow, just like the pelican trying to empty its pouch” when I got to the poem and lost it again. Awesome pelican rhymes. I only wish I’d have thought of them first. 🙂
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Thanks. I’ll bet Ogden Nash wished he’d thought of that poem, too. Who knew you could make up so many words that rhyme with pelican?
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One of my past-times while sitting on the balcony in Galveston while on vacation was watching the flights of pelicans go by.
Never have seen a pelican bible.
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Galveston sounds like a fun place to live, although scary during hurricanes. I was there a few years ago for a cruise.
I like watching pelicans fly super close to the water. It’s amazing how they do that.
I could be wrong, but I think it’s the Catholics that have pelican drawings in their bibles.
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Well, I have been Catholic for quite a while and the pelican thing is new to me. But, I have never paid too much attention to iconology.
John Grisham had some strange underwear in one his books call Pelican Briefs. I don’t know if there were Pelican boxers.
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Didn’t Grisham write a sequel called The Seagull Speedos?
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Maybe it was only released in Europe.
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Probably. You have to know your audience.
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I googled and found out you do know what you are talking about. 🙂
The pelican legend was detailed in an early Christian work called the Physiologus , there were other animal legends mentioned in it as well. It was by an anonymous author.
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I’m shocked. How could you doubt a unicorn chaser? I also feel relieved that your google search corroborates my claims. Boy did I get lucky.
Physiologus, huh? That sounds like a medical procedure I’d prefer to avoid. I’d want to remain anonymous also, if I wrote about something like that.
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LOL! I didn’t doubt you, for after all I bet your unicorn told you, right? And unicorns have the smartz!
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True. Unicorns are far smartzer than humans.
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Very true! You is smart!
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Interesting. I was brought up in the cough Christian religion and I’ve never seen a Pelican used as a symbol. Now about this poem at the end. I thought you had written it at first. We need a Tippy Gnu written bird poem. Excuse me now while I try to eat my fish.
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It may be an ancient Catholic symbol. If you were brought up Prostest-ant, it’s unlikely you would have seen it.
No, like Ogden Nash, I can’t rightly claim ownership of the poem. But I can wrongly claim it, if that would satisfy you.
Don’t click on the Brown Pelican link, or you may have trouble eating your fish.
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Ohhh yes I was brought up Prostest-ant. Well you can call the poem a stolen quote. Oh boy now I have to click on the Pelican. Why did you tell me not too?
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Click on it after dinner. You have been warned.
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Oh yeah! I completely forgot about it. I’ll look now. It’s long after dinner.
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Nothing happened?
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It’s the last two words of the second paragraph, that read “Brown Pelican”. Click that link and you’ll find the Urban Dictionary’s definition. It opens up in a new tab on your browser.
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Okay. Surrreee make me work for it. Then I’ll need a nap. Got my blog back. I’m just posting the You Tube videos on it. You’ve seen them all already except maybe the latest one. That’s not posted on the blog. I’ve started from the beginning. So there’s only two right now you’ve already seen.
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Wow, sounds like you’re getting busy. I’ll check your blog out.
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lol don’t get too bored.
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Oh lord have mercy!
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Heh-heh.
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You warned me I guess..
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I needed this post, thank you. It took me away to a place where viruses and politics just don’t exist. I mean who rules the pelicans! No one.
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You’re welcome. Maybe we need diversions like pelicans sometimes.
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