I’m not sure if I’m a liberal, conservative, or moderate. But my best guess is that I’m a moderate. My political views run the spectrum from left to right, but they tend to settle in the middle.
For instance, I’m for all the government programs anyone could ever want (liberal). But only as long as the budget is balanced (moderate). And I’m for all the tax cuts anyone could ever want (conservative). But again, only as long as the budget is balanced (moderate).
I’m for legalizing almost everything, including all the vices, such as prostitution, drugs, and gambling (liberal). But I’m also for a strong police force, to enforce those laws where those other than oneself could be harmed (conservative).
Those on the left and right like to put down us moderates. They claim we don’t stand for anything, we’re fence-sitters, and cowards. And they tell us we’re dull and uninspiring.
But I think they just want us to take a position on their side.
I’ll admit we may be all the things extremists accuse us of being. But I like being moderate. It’s like being a rose between two thorns. I vote moderate, and encourage others to do the same, because just like extremists, I try to convert people over to my side. Which is in-between both sides. So what follows are a dozen good reasons to be a moderate.
If you’re an extremist, or thinking of becoming one, please consider carefully the following benefits of being a moderate, then climb down off that limb you’re sitting on, and join me under this safe tree.
Twelve Good Reasons to Be a Moderate
- It’s fun to be a contrarian, rather than like everyone else, who is either on the left or the right.
- It avoids arguments, because nobody cares about your wishy-washy opinion.
- It’s safer for those of us who have a heart condition.
- It’s easy to answer pushy pollsters, by just telling them you’re undecided.
- You can avoid having the nutty neighbors that those on the left and right have to endure.
- According to the Buddha, the Middle Way is the way to Nirvana.
- You’re free to examine both sides of any issue.
- You can change your mind a lot.
- You can curse liberals one day, while praising conservatives, then curse conservatives the next day, while praising liberals.
- You can sell your vote to the highest bidder.
- You’re capable of compromise.
- You generally get what you want. Which is more of the same.
- You can choose candidates by flipping a coin. Which seems to work as well as anything else.
I know, I know, that was 13 reasons, not 12. But there was one that I couldn’t decide whether to include or throw out. Sigh, I’m such a moderate.