2019: The End is Near!
If you hate politics as much as me, you’re gonna love this political post. I predict that the end is near!
My prediction for the year 2019 is that at some blessed moment, on some blessed day of next year, Donald Trump will leave office and no longer be our president. He will either be impeached and convicted, or he will resign.
But that’s not the end I’m prophesying. I’m prognosticating that within a few months after Trump leaves office, you’ll be able to tune into any cable news channel and watch for at least ten minutes without hearing the T-word.
Yes, the dreaded T-word is on the way out. No more Trump this, Trump that, Trump all the time, 24/7. And many news anchors and reporters will be laid off, because the T-word seems to be the extent of their vocabulary.
Finally we’ll be able to watch news covering other subjects besides our beloved president. And I do mean beloved, because we do so love to hate him.
Here’s why I think Trump is soon to be history. It’s all in the math:
Last month the Republicans got their red asses whipped by the Democrats, in the mid-terms. They lost at least 40 seats in the House of Representatives, to the Dems, and thus lost control of the House. And their bowels. And their bladders.
Yes, they did gain two Senate seats, as Trump is quick to crow, but conditions were very favorable for them in the Senate this election cycle. 26 Democratic senate seats were up for reelection, but only 9 Republican seats. The Republicans should have picked up a lot more than just two seats. And if Trump hadn’t been out campaigning so hard for them, they probably would have.
In the next election, Senate prospects will be far less favorable for the Republicans, because they will be defending 22 seats, while the Dems will try to keep their asses planted in just 12.
Right now, Republican senators must be shitting a brick every time they think about the upcoming 2020 elections. Donald Trump is highly unpopular in America. And with each new scandal, and each new revelation from the many investigations, his popularity treads on thinner and thinner ice. The elections of 2020 will likely be a massacre for the GOP in the Senate if something isn’t done about Trump, now.
Impeachment is a two step process. The House of Representatives does the impeaching. A simple majority of 218 votes is required to impeach. And there will be at least 235 Democrats sharpening their knives in the House next year. So the votes are there. Let the stabbing begin.
But Step 2 requires the Senate to do the convicting and removing. After the House votes for impeachment, Trump will be put on trial in the Senate. After the trial, two-thirds of the Senate will have to vote to convict and evict Trump from the White House. That means 67 out of our 100 senators will have to vote against Trump, on at least one of the many expected counts of impeachment.
Next year there will be 45 Democratic senators, and 2 Independent senators, that can be expected to vote for removal. Unless an asteroid strikes our planet. Or unless Yellowstone blows up and sinks North America. Or unless glacial ice-melting submerges Washington D.C.
Thus, at least 20 of the 53 Republican senators will also have to vote for removal, to rid cable news of the T-word.
I believe the Senate will have no trouble mustering those 20 Republican votes. Remember, 22 Republican senators will be up for reelection in 2020. And 22 more will face reelection in 2022. And so I suspect there are at least 44 nervous Republicans in the Senate who are secretly hoping and praying for the president’s early political demise, in spite of all the lickspittle public praise they heap upon him.
Otherwise their political careers may go straight down Trump’s golden crapper.
What they need is a premise. Some red meat. Something they can show to their fanatics, er, voters, that Trump really is the terrible person his new Chief of Staff said he is. You know, a con artist. A liar. And a corrupt sellout to countries like Russia and Saudi Arabia. The kind of stuff everyone who is not a Republican, or Donald’s Chief of Staff, is already aware of.
That way they’ll have an excuse to vote for his removal, while standing a chance at getting enough votes to win their Republican primary elections.
And we already have some red meat. Trump has been implicated in a scheme to violate campaign finance laws, by paying off the National Enquirer to silence women he’s had extramarital affairs with.
Remember Bill Clinton? He survived removal after he was impeached, when zero Democratic Senators, but 50 Republican senators, voted to convict and evict over charges stemming from a sex scandal. Yep, where Democrats have no morality, Republicans are loaded with it. They will not stand for any president to have illicit sex. Regardless of political party. Right? Uh, ahem. R-r-right.
But just to be on the safe side, I’m sure much more meat will be put on display at the butcher shop. Special Counsel Bob Mueller will issue his report, and the House of Representatives will complete a few investigations of their own. And the Southern District Court of New York will also do some snooping. Soon we’ll see meat on display with labels such as, “The Putin Penthouse Steak”, “Obstruction Sausage”, and “Trump Roast Tax Returns”.
And maybe there’ll be some “Collusion Calimari” on the side.
I predict that will be enough. That kind of meat is what Republican senators need, to satisfy their party. That is what they are secretly praying for, even while openly defending our orange oligarch.
And the sooner the better. Because the sooner they can get rid of Trump, the sooner they can get on with the business most important to them. Their reelection campaigns.
You heard it here first. My prediction for 2019. No more Trump, and the T-word is on its way out. The end is near!
God I hope I’m right.