Our unicorn today comes from Cranky Pants, in the form of a unique question. Cranky Pants suffers from autoimmune disease. That’s why she’s so cranky. And she wears pants.
Her blog, at https://crankypants2.wordpress.com/, complains about the unique challenges she and others face with autoimmune disease. And she also rants about her many difficulties trying to get effective medical care, from a screwed up and sometimes skeptical medical system.
Cranky, we hope they find a cure for your malady, one day. We’d like to see you in a better mood.
Mrs. Pants crankily asks us the following unique question:
“Why is it called beauty sleep when you wake up looking like a troll?”
I don’t have that problem. I always take a pretty pill before going to bed. But if you have a unique answer, response, or perhaps allergic reaction to Cranky Pants’ question, we want to hear about it. Please leave your fun, exciting, and unique comment below.
Categories: Unicorn Beams
Chasing Unicorns 
Sleep is for restoring your inner beauty as much as the outer. It’s just that the outer takes a while to be revealed (and needs some cosmetic help, at times) in the morning. I read somewhere that celebrities won’t be photographed before 10am because they need time for the morning puffiness in their faces to go down. If that makes you feel any better, Crankypants, to know that even celebrities wake up with troll face? 🙂
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That seems very accurate about sleep restoring inner beauty. People tend to behave at their ugliest when they’re tired.
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Want an instant beautifier and year eraser?
Wear a SMILE on your face!
To that end . . .
The New Alphabet
A’s for arthritis. B’s the bad back. C’s the chest pains, perhaps car-di-ac?
D is for dental decay and decline. E is for eyesight, can’t read that top line! F is for farting and fluid retention. G is for gut droop, which I’d rather not mention.
grumpy_thinkingH is high blood pressure – I’d rather it low. I for incisions with scars you can show. J is for joints, out of socket, won’t mend. K is for knees that crack when they bend.
L ‘s for libido, what happened to sex? M is for memory, I forget what comes next.
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low. O is for osteo, bones that don’t grow!
Grumpy gusP for prescriptions, I have quite a few. Just give me a pill, I’ll be good as new! Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu? R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.
S: sleepless nights, counting my fears. T is for Tinnitus, bells in my ears! U is for urinary, troubles with flow. V for vertigo, that’s ‘dizzy,’ you know.
W for worry, now what’s going ’round? X is for X-ray, and what might be found.
Y’s for another year I’ve left behind. Z is for zest I still have . . . in my mind!
I’ve survived all the symptoms, my body’s deployed. I’m keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed!
Source: E-mail from unknown author (sent by Granny1947)
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Haha. And now we know the ABC’s of aging. Thank you teacher.
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Oh man that was funny. Hope it’s not all true for you!
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I bet Cranky Pants wakes up looking prettier than she realizes. She’s just too cranky to notice.
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Yes. It could be that her puffy eyes make it too hard for her to see in the mirror just how pretty she is.
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I suppose it’s because “beauty sleep” is meant to restore and rejuvenate the body to provide energy during waking hours, but it’s all too true that people wake up looking like hot messes. Eye boogers, drool, bad breath, and a full bladder. I don’t know how some people can stand to sleep beside someone and wake up to see that. I’ll keep my single bed and hoard the blankets to myself, thanks.
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Yeah, it’s scary how gross the body becomes overnight. There’s something to be said for having separate beds. It probably preserves marriages.
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If you are already ugly, you have nothing to worry about right?
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Oh heck no. And you can sleep safely, because any intruders will be scared off.
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It’s a win-win!
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Yes-yes.
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My theory, CrankyPants, is that you are not sleeping long enough. Beauty sleep doesn’t even begin until you’ve been in bed for 8-10 hours, so if you get less ZZZ’s than that, Troll Face is inevitable. For extreme puffiness, full-scale hibernation might be in order. Good luck. 🙂
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So you have to sleep 8-10 hours to be beautiful. This explains why I’ve always been ugly. Unless cumulative napping time counts.
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