Mad Mike and His Steam-Powered Rocketship
Stolen Quote: No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit. ~ Helen Keller
Is the world round or flat? Is global warming real? Did NASA fake the moon landings? Most importantly, is it sane to trust modern science?
Mad Mike Hughes does not. He has pessimistically claimed there is no difference between science and science fiction. And he’s willing to put his life on the line to prove it.
Mad Mike is a desert rat from the Mojave Desert. And like most of us desert rats, his brain may have spent a little too much time baking in the sun. I chase unicorns, myself. And Mad Mike, well, he tries to prove that the world is flat.
But there’s a genius to his mad mind. He has figured out how to build a steam-powered rocketship. Yep that’s right, good old-fashioned steam. Just like the paddle-wheelers of yore, or the locomotive, or your mom’s steam iron.
He’s been making the news lately, with a planned launch in the Mojave Desert, near the ghost town of Amboy. Check out this youtube news story on the madman: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Am0bPTiUUDg.
My wife and I first became aware of him through the news. And guess what? It was not fake news! Imagine my delight when we were driving through the Amboy area on a road trip, and happened upon this mad science-denier setting his rocketship up right next to the highway, in plain view of passing motorists.
I can recognize a unicorn when I see one, and pulled over immediately. We got out and snapped a few photos of this steam-fueled contraption, and got to see Mad Mike himself setting the dern thing up.
We didn’t actually speak to him though, because his assistant walked out and intercepted us. He introduced himself as “Pioneer Pat”, and claimed to have been Mad Mike’s friend for several years. Pioneer Pat explained that he and Mad Mike are pioneers at proving the fiction in science.
Pioneer Pat informed us that Mad Mike was going to launch himself 1,800 feet into the air with his rocketship, and all under the power of steam. He said that a new, tentative launch date was set for Monday, December 4th (a prior launch date of 11/25/17 had been scrapped, due to interference from the golderned U.S. Gummint).
We sincerely expressed to him our worry for Mad Mike’s safety, and conveyed our wishes for a safe, successful landing. The poor man creased his brow as he thanked us, betraying a bit of worry, himself.
I asked him how this rocket launch would help to prove that the world is flat. Pioneer Pat admitted that it wouldn’t. But before I could follow up with a question like, “Well then what the hell is your real reason for this suicide mission?” he changed the subject and began educating us about Stanley Kubrick directing fake moon missions. So I kind of got the gist that the real reason behind this stunt was to make a mockery of the science of space exploration.
Pioneer Pat was a friendly, affable man, and quite garrulous. We enjoyed our conversation with him, but walked away with doubt in our heart that his friend had much longer to live.
I can’t help but wonder if this risky rocket launch is symbolic of the risks we take when we deny the validity of science. When we teach creationism and forbid the teaching of evolution, do we risk lives by slowing advances in biology and medicine? When we deny climate change, do we risk submerging major cities across the globe in seawater? And can science-denying lead progress down a screwball path? A path where time and talent is wasted on crazy things, such as steam-powered rocketships and eccentric researchers, who try to disprove that which most of us take for granted as true?
Or are we really the mad ones, and Mad Mike the sane one? Have we been duped by scientists? Did Stanley Kubrick really direct the moon missions? And did Christopher Columbus fall off the edge of the earth, only to be replaced by a cunning imposter?
I suppose we’ll have wait until Monday, December 4th to discover the answer. For on that date a marvelous man named Mad Mike Hughes will soar 1,800 feet into the air, on a jet of hissing steam, and somehow prove to us that the world is, indeed, as flat as a frisbee.
Or, on the other hand, rescue workers will be scraping a rocket man off the desert floor. And it will not be the earth that is flat, but rather, it will be Mad Mike himself, and all his science-denying theories.