Month: July 2017

Black Book of Satan (book review)

Are you into chaos? Wanna learn black magick, or take part in orgies? Willing to catch a few STDs? If so then Satan worship may be just the thing for you.

I’m familiar with the Bible. I grew up with it. But I’ve never seen the Book of Satan until just recently. No, my eyes did not turn into cinders of smoldering coal and drop out of my skull the moment I opened this book. Nor have I been haunted by cacodemons in the middle of the night. Nor does my head spin around 360 degrees.

I’m not superstitious, so maybe that’s what has saved me. But I am curious. Any book purporting to come from Satan is enough to give most people the collywobbles, wambles, and chilly willies. And that just piques my curiosity more. You know, forbidden fruit and all.

But I always thought such a book was a myth. So imagine my delight when I discovered I could download this sinister text from the internet, in pdf format. You too, can download it, at this website: http://www.o9a.org/wp-content/uploads/Black-Book-of-Satan.pdf.

This particular book of Satan portrays Satanism as a practical philosophy, where individuals can enhance their lives through the use of “magick”, to achieve their desires. By the way, that’s the archaic spelling of “magic”, perhaps intending to reflect the age of this philosophy. Or perhaps reflecting that Satan doesn’t know how to spell.

21 Satanic Points

Early in the book you will find “The 21 Satanic Points”. These are sort of like the 10 Commandments, except they come from the devil, and there are 21 of them.

Point #1 reads: “Respect not pity or weakness, for they are a disease which makes sick the strong.” This kind of gives you an idea of how the remaining 20 read, so I won’t go through them all. However, I found it interesting that some of the maxims are cliches I’ve heard before, outside the circles of Satan.

For instance, Point #7 reads, “Build not upon sand, but upon rock. And build not for today or yesterday but for all time.” This kind of echoes Matthew 7:24-27 of the Bible, where Jesus advises to build your house on rock and not sand. Was Jesus in league with the devil?

And then there’s Point #21, which reads, “What does not kill, makes stronger.” Hmm, I think I heard this one in basic military training. Which confirms to me that basic training is one of the levels of Hell.

Two Books of Satan

Apparently there are at least two books of Satan. One book contains practices that individuals can engage in, in order to take advantage of magick and get the things they want. The other book (this “Black Book”) explains how to practice in a group. It mainly contains rituals performed in a temple or outdoor setting, to draw on the dark powers of the devil.

The Black Book of Satan instructs how to set up a temple, what sort of incense and candles to use, and so forth, so that you can do everything properly, the Satanic way. Then it gets into the liturgy of the rituals themselves.

Rituals

Rituals include: The Black Mass, The Pledging (Satanic wedding ceremony), The Ceremony of Birth (for mothers named Rosemary, I suppose), and the Rite of Initiation.

Nearly every ritual in this book involves some sort of sexual activity. The descriptions rival any book of erotica. The Priest or Priestess often lies naked on an altar. Someone designated as a “Master” or “Mistress” also take part in the ceremony, while the congregation, naked beneath black robes, observes and chants.

Often the officiates of the ceremony perform sex acts on each other, in front of the congregation. Then when they are finished, the members of the congregation lose their black robes and dance around naked, in a counterclockwise rotation. After a bit, these naked worshipers abandon all form and engage in chaotic, orgiastic sex, while feasting on a banquet of food.

That’s typically how a ceremony goes, although the details differ somewhat with each ritual.

The Death Rite

I’ll give you an example by describing “The Death Rite”. The Death Rite is a ritual for wishing death upon someone, whom the book names “N.N.” for the nonce. You can fill in the blank with any name, because the actual name used is one that a member of the congregation has submitted. This is a person, any person, whom that particular Satan worshiper hates and would like to see dead. Or who knows, maybe they just want to collect on life insurance, end a marriage, or win an election.

In this ritual the Priest dresses in black robes, while the Priestess lies naked on the altar. The Mistress dresses in sexually alluring crimson robes. The congregation dresses in black robes with crimson cords.

Black candles are placed on the altar, a musky incense is burned, and a small wooden coffin is placed near the altar with a handful of graveyard earth piled upon it. No kidding. These kooks really dig up dirt from a cemetery for this ceremony.

A small wax effigy made in the likeness of N.N. is placed on the womb of the naked Priestess. This effigy is made to a size that will fit into the wooden coffin.

The Mistress rings a silver bell 13 times to start the ritual.

The Priest chants, “I will go down to the altars in Hell.”

The congregation chants back, “To Satan, the giver of life.”

The Priest then begins reciting a parody of the Lord’s Prayer, beginning with, “Our Father which wert in heaven …” (“Father” being Satan, who fell from heaven).

The Priest turns and fondles the Priestess, then he and the Mistress begin a series of chants with the congregation, including: “Agios o Satanas!” (meaning “Saint the Satan”.) “Satanas – venire!” And “Ave Satanas”.

Then the Priest gets into the meat of the ceremony by making the sign of the inverted pentagram over the congregation, and declaring, “We, the spawn of Chaos, curse N.N.”

All: “We curse N.N.”

Priest: “N.N. will writhe and die!”

All: “N.N. will writhe and die!”

And futher chants back and forth, such as:

“By our will, destroyed.”

“Kill and laugh and then dance to our Prince!”

“N.N. is dying!”

“N.N. is dead!”

“We have killed and now glory in the killing!”

“The Earth rejects N.N.”

At this point the naked Priestess places the wax effigy of N.N. into the coffin. The congregation begins dancing “counter sunwise” (counterclockwise) in a circle, chanting the Diabolus.

Then the Priest has sexual intercourse on the altar with the Priestess while the congregation clap their hands in approval, chanting ‘Ave Satanas!’ After the climax, the Priest withdraws, and the Mistress kisses the Priestess on the lips. The Mistress then kisses each member of the congregation.

The Priest, after this, makes the sign of the inverted pentagram over the coffin, declaring loudly: ”N.N. is dead and we all have shared in this death. N.N. is dead and we rejoice!” This is a cue for the Priest and the congregation to laugh.

The Mistress then takes the Priest’s penis in her mouth until he is erect again. Then she shouts: “I who bring life, also take!”

Soon after, the Priest declares: “Feast now, and rejoice, for we have killed, doing the work of our Prince!”

An orgy of lust then ensues, concluding the ritual.

The next morning everyone wakes up with itchy crotches and a burning sensation when they pee. But that’s my conclusion. The book makes no mention of STDs.

Recruitment

Toward the end of the Black Book of Satan, suggestions are given on how to recruit new members, and how to become a Satan worshiper yourself.

New members are recruited by luring them to rituals. Sex is often used as a lure, by inviting them to an orgy. Or they can be promised a lesson in magick. I can understand falling for the first lure, but you’d have to be a real nerd to fall for the second one.

But it isn’t easy to join the ranks of chaos and evil.

Initiates into Satanism must undergo a probationary period of several years, under the guidance of the Master or Mistress. During this time the Master or Mistress teaches Satanism to them, and tests their knowledge. It’s just like being back in school. Which figures, because school was another level of Hell, in my opinion.

Initiates may also be required to put themselves into dangerous or illegal circumstances. The book warns that some will die or be imprisoned.

Gulp!

But those who manage to survive or evade arrest may eventually become full-fledged members. Lucky bastards. I hope they’re grateful.

Instructions are also given for how to establish a Satanic group. And there is instruction on how to self-initiate, just in case someone has a hard time finding a Satanic group in their area. Gee, you’d think you could find all kinds of them in the Yellow Pages.

When someone joins the legions of the devil, they must adopt a new temple name. The very last pages of the book contain suggestions for names.

Examples for men: Oger, Hacon, Serell, Noctulius, Athor, Engar, Aulwynd, Algar, Suevis, Angar, Wulsin, Gord, Ranulf.

Examples for women: Sirida, Eulalia, Lianna, Aesoth, Richenda, Edonia, Annia, Liben, Estrild, Selann.

Take note of these names, in case you frequent online dating sites.

My Conclusions

The Black Book of Satan purports to help members fulfill their potential through the dark powers of magick. But I believe it actually weakens their potential.

Apart from catching some sort of hideous venereal disease, initiates run the risk of dying or being jailed, due to the diablerie required of them. But even if they make it through that gauntlet, they can fall under the blackmailing control of a Priest or Priestess.

They’ve committed crimes and can now be induced to go deeper into lawbreaking. They can be drawn into a criminal syndicate. Their criminal actions make them vulnerable to being manipulated into causing more and more harm to others for the benefit of the Priest or Priestess.

This is the same pattern found in other kinds of criminal gangs. You rob, steal, and kill to benefit the gang leaders. In return you get to live the life of a fugitive, while feasting on any crumbs of pleasure rewarded to you from your boss.

In my view, Satanism is a tragic, suicidal path that has little chance of leading to self-fulfillment. It deprives followers of safety and security. It steals away their liberty. And ultimately, it leads worshipers on a dark path toward their own self-destruction.

Maybe that is why the book is black.

Symbols found within the Black Book of Satan. They are somewhat similar to the doodles of Donald Trump.

Pet Heaven

Harry Hertzer donned his construction helmet and strolled nonchalantly toward the building. He stopped and routinely waved a signal to the crane operater. The heavy extensile arm slowly swung toward the building Harry stood beside, while dangling a large air-conditioning unit fastened by ropes.

Harry was lazy and failed to follow the safety rule that required him to stand outside the arc path of the crane’s payload. As the a/c unit passed directly above, the ropes snapped and a ton of metal crashed down upon Harry’s head, smashing him like a corn chip.

He was looking up when he saw it speeding down toward his face. Then the scene quickly changed to a dark vortex, like a tunnel, and he felt himself being pulled up through this tunnel. Suddenly a bright light appeared in the distance. It was whiter than white, and it grew bigger and bigger as he drew closer and closer to this refulgent orb.

Finally he found himself next to it, bathed in celestial light. It seemed he was able to communicate with this being of light, mind-to-mind, without words. I will attempt to translate this superlunary dialogue, so that you, the sublunary reader, can comprehend as best as possible.

“Who or what are you?” Harry asked the being of light.

“I am Lassie!” proclaimed the being. “I’m the dog you owned when you were a kid.”

“Lassie? Really? Is that you, Lassie?!”

The being gave Harry a familiar bark that helped him recognize this incorporeal canine.

“Lassie, it really is you! Huh, I never thought animals could go to heaven.”

“Oh yes,” Lassie yipped. “All living creatures go to heaven after they die. There is no difference between you and me, Harry. No one soul is superior to another. This is where we all live most of the time, as equals, while only occasionally going to places like Earth where some beings are able to dominate other beings.”

That concept of dominating stimulated something distant in Harry’s memory. “What happened to you, Lassie?” he asked. “The last time I saw you was right before you disappeared.”

Lassie gave a deep, almost imperceptible growl. “Don’t you remember? You kicked me. It was the last time I allowed you to kick me. After about a thousand kicks, even a dog grows tired. So I ran away from home. The next day I was crossing a highway when a big truck ran me over.”

“Oh.” gulped Harry, and he hung his head.

Suddenly a panoramic vision of his life unfolded before his eyes, and Harry viewed every instance where he kicked his dog.

“G-Gee, L-Lassie, I am s-so s-so sorry I did that to you.” Harry stammered.

“Not good enough!” Lassie barked and howled.

Suddenly he felt a violent kick to his midsection, and experienced the sensation of flying way up through the air a great distance, then smacking the ground with a flesh-bruising thud. Then he felt as if he was being run over by a large truck tire, and heard the crepitation of his own bones as they crumbled beneath the weight of the wheel.

The pain was so intense it overwhelmed him, and it took a good long time for Harry to pick himself off the hard surface he lay upon, and stand upright again. But then, as soon as he stood up, it was WHAM! He was kicked yet again, and experienced the same sensation of flying through the air and then being run over by a truck tire, just like before.

Over and over a thousand times this pattern of kicking, crushing, and terrible pain repeated itself, until it finally sank in to Harry, and he understood what he had put poor Lassie through during his puppy’s brief sojourn on earth. Harry felt horrified about his past actions.

As soon as this epiphany infiltrated his mind, Harry found himself hurtling through a dark tunnel again. Up ahead a being of light awaited. Then he stood next to it, bathed in its radiant-white rays.

“Wh-Who or what are you,” a wary Harry asked.

“Don’t you remember me, Harry?” the being of light responded. “I’m Dolly, one of your cats. You know, the one you set on fire when you were 20 years old?”

The moral to this story is that nothing separates us humans from other living creatures, other than the fact that we have different physical forms, and supposedly more advanced brains.

So treat your pets well. Give them a good life. Because you never know. After you leave your human form, you may just end up in pet heaven.

Life Insurance

“Nah, nothing wrong with you except a chest cold. Here’s a prescription for some antibiotics.” Dr. Glimp tore off the worthless script from his prescription pad and handed it to Max, hoping it would appease him.

“Are you sure?” Max intently studied the doctor’s eyes. “I mean, doc, I’ve never had a chest cold this bad before.” He coughed. “Can you look that X-ray over again?”

Dr. Glimp sighed and turned his head so that he faced the X-ray display at a 45-degree angle. He glanced at it asquint for about five seconds. “There’s nothing there!” he declared, turning back.

“Look, I understand your concern. Ever since the Surgeon General announced two years ago that cigarette smoking causes cancer, I’ve been flooded with patients who get worried every time they develop a cough. But if you had something wrong it would be in the X-rays. Your X-rays are clear!” He thumped Max on the back. “Congratulations! You should be happy!” The thump sent Max into an uncontrollable coughing spell for about 30 seconds.

Max paused for a moment after stepping out of the doctor’s office, to catch his breath. He rubbed an achy spot about an inch below his neck. He suppressed a cough, then struggled for a deep breath of fresh air. Was that a wheezing he heard?

He lit up. Smoking always helped him think better. Was the doctor right? Was he just being a little paranoid after that Surgeon General’s report made headlines all over the country? He fiddled with the pack of cigarettes in his hand, and read the new message he’d been seeing recently, printed on the sides of this product: “Caution: Cigarette Smoking May Be Hazardous To Your Health.”

He mused that he would have never taken up the habit if he had only known. Back in his youth it seemed that every man smoked. In fact many doctors hailed cigarettes as good for your health. That had always seemed counterintuitive to him, but who was he to question doctors? And now he was hooked. A chain smoker.

A tussive urge struck from below and an involuntary cough erupted. When Max regained control he tucked the pack back into his shirt pocket. Too late to give it up now, he theorized.

The coughing kept recurring over the next several days, as Max struggled with his fear of cancer. He knew something was wrong. He felt it in his gut. And it occurred to him that he was going to die soon. He was going to leave behind his wife and his children. His very successful business would not last without his guidance. It would fail, and his family would go broke.

He contemplated what to do. How to prepare for the worst. How to ensure that his wife and kids would be okay. And he came up with a plan.

He justified that if these bastard doctors were wrong in the first place, by recommending cigarette smoking, and then wrong again in the second place, by missing a diagnosis of lung cancer, he’d show the sons of bitches a thing or two. He’d show these damned so-called experts.

Max put the word out that his machine shop was up for sale.

Then he made an appointment with a life insurance company.

The fine folks at Graystone Life Insurance welcomed him into their office. The agent talked Max into a $100,000 policy. And all he had to do was pass the physical. Which involved a chest X-ray.

It came out negative.

It was all Max could do to suppress the coughing while Graystone’s physician examined him. The physician mentioned that his breathing sounded a little raspy. Max told him that his own doctor had diagnosed it as a chest cold. After a quick phone call to his doctor, the physician seemed satisfied and quickly signed off.

And then it was off to visit Huffburg’s Life Insurance, and then Sandsound Life Inc. Then Whistler’s Life. Then Hacker Life, Limited. Then Sputummer’s Life. Hedgeworth’s Life. Kakouphany Life. Emyprean Life. And so on and so forth.

By the time Max finished with his life insurance binge, he was paying premiums on more than a million dollars’ worth of policies. And his wife and children were the named beneficiaries.

He sold the machine shop to my father-in-law. This is how I became aware of this story, many years later.

Max’s wife worried about his mental health. And she felt positively stressed about him selling the business. She knew they couldn’t go on forever, living off the proceeds of the sale. Especially with all those life insurance premiums they were now paying. She nagged at Max to visit a psychiatrist.

But Max ignored her, in his monomania to find ways to provide for her after his upcoming demise that he just knew was going to occur.

Several months passed. His cough had deepened, and his wheezing was sounding more like a whistling now. Max was feeling increasingly worried for his family, and carking more about their long-term future. He walked into the office of Protective Life and breathlessly asked to speak with an agent. He said he wanted to take out the biggest policy they offered.

The agent asked the same routine questions Max was accustomed to, and Max had all the right answers at the ready. He filled out the forms and signed them. Now all that was left was the requisite physical.

The physician furrowed his brow and pointed at the X-ray display. “Sir, I see something like a shadow around your clavicle. And a few other shadows, here . . . and here.” he pointed. “I can’t approve this policy until you have your lungs checked out by your doctor.”

Max returned to his doctor and got yet another chest X-ray. This time Dr. Glimp’s insouciant demeanor disappeared. With a gray face, he told Max that a biopsy would be necessary.

A few days after the biopsy, Dr. Glimp delivered the message Max was expecting.

“Max, I’m sorry to say, but it’s advanced stage lung cancer. I’m really, really sorry I didn’t catch this earlier. It was hidden behind your clavicle. You know, your collar bone. We can try to operate, but this appears to have spread to your bones. Radiation might work, but I don’t know.” He shook his head grimly.

“How much longer, doc, if you continue doing nothing?”

Dr. Glimp winced. He appeared stung by that question. He stammered. “W-w-well, uh, I doubt you have more than, uh, s-s-six months. D-do you have life insurance?”

Max’s face brightened, even as he coughed.

“Yep, oh yes!” Max cheerily proclaimed with a hoarse voice. “Yes, I have life insurance. Yes indeed I do!”

Max died two months later.

His wife retired, and his kids all got good college educations.

Doctors, with all their fine degrees, are not omniscient. There’s much they don’t know and can’t know, and there are many things they’re unwilling to figure out. So we have to trust what our bodies are telling us until clear medical evidence proves otherwise. I believe that’s the lesson we can learn from people like Max.

The Once-Forbidden Fruit

I recently visited the state of Colorado, which is one of the first states to legalize the recreational use of marijuana. During my peradventure at the high altitudes, I noticed a profusion of advertisements for this leafy product.

This service station in Colorado offers an unusual mix of products.

The ads left me curious. I wanted to try the substance myself. I’ve never smoked marijuana, but there was that one time many years ago when I got a buzz from second-hand fumes. In other words, I’m the opposite of Bill Clinton. I’ve never smoked it, but I have inhaled.

The stuffy relatives I visited were all against grass, and did not like their new, libertine laws, so I decided not to wear out my welcome by experimenting. But in less than six months, recreational marijuana will be available for purchase right here in my great home state of California.

California, you usually lead the way in liberal social trends. What the hell has happened to you? Why have you been lagging so far behind?

But better late than never. In six months I’ll be able to sashay down to a local pot shop and pick up a dose of cannabis, and all in the name of recreation rather than some fake medical excuse.

I suppose if they ever legalize prostitution in Colorado, their service stations can offer gas, grass, and ass.

So now I’m debating internally as to whether or not I should actually try it. Shall I pluck the once-forbidden fruit and consume it? Will it open my eyes? Or will it destroy my personal Eden?

I decided to do some research, and see what the experts have to say about the dangers and benefits from marijuana use. Here’s what I have discovered:

TRAFFIC DANGERS
A 3% increase in collision claims has occurred in states that have legalized recreational marijuana. ~ Highway Loss Data Institute.

TRAFFIC BENEFITS
No significant increase in vehicle accident fatalities. ~ American Journal of Public Health.

Highway fatalities in Colorado are at near historic lows. ~ The Washington Post

Traffic searches by highway patrols in Colorado and Washington dropped by nearly half after the two states legalized marijuana in 2012. ~ NBC News

It’s nice to know you don’t have to buy marijuana in order to get gassed in Colorado.

HEALTH DANGERS
Casual marijuana use is linked to brain abnormalities. ~ Northwestern University

Marijuana disorients the mind, affects memory, reduces physical coordination, causes rapid heart beat, causes bronchitis and cancer, sterilizes men and disrupts the menstrual cycle of women, deforms sperm cells, and causes birth defects. ~ Foundation for a Drug-Free World

HEALTH BENEFITS
Marijuana improves memory in older mice. ~ University of Bonn, Germany

It’s a myth that marijuana causes sterility, and marijuana has little evidence implicating it in fetal harm, unlike alcohol, cocaine or tobacco. ~ http://www.canorml.org/healthfacts/healthmyths.html

Marijuana is unlikely to cause head, neck, or lung cancer. ~ Daniel E. Ford, MD, John Hopkins Medical School in Baltimore

VIOLENCE DANGERS
Continued use of cannabis causes violent behavior. ~ Journal of Psychological Medicine

VIOLENCE BENEFITS
Legalizing marijuana will eliminate much of the violence and corruption that currently characterizes marijuana markets. ~ Cato Institute

SPIRITUAL DANGERS
Marijuana use has adverse effects on your aura and soul. ~ http://cosmic-living.com/uncategorized/is-marijuana-ok-from-a-spiritual-point-of-view/

SPIRITUAL BENEFITS
Marijuana balances your system, alleviates worry, expands the mind, heightens consciousness, facilitates meditation, improves self-knowledge, and puts us in touch with universal spiritual values. ~ http://www.benefitsofmarijuana.com

MY CONCLUSION
With all the contradictory information and opinions I’ve read from all the above experts, I can only conclude one thing:

They’re all smoking it!