(Adversetisement)
The FDA has banned antibacterial soap. They say it doesn’t do any better at cleaning your hands than plain soap, and in fact may do more harm than good.
My wife and I disagree. We’re sanitary people and have laved our hands with antibacterial soap for many years. But rather than whining and complaining about government overreach (“Take your stinking paws off me you damned dirty government!”), we have chosen to view this as an opportunity.
Okay, we whined and complained a little bit. In fact we both spent hours and hours in the bathroom washing and rewashing our hands, while crying into our antibacterial suds. “You’re just the best soap in the world, and we’re going to miss you!” we sniveled.
But then we bucked up. We walked it off. We put our heads together. And we decided to show the government a thing or two. We determined to develop an alternative to antibacterial soap.
Now we are very excited. Because after many months days weeks hours minutes of experimenting and planning and testing chemicals, we have invented a very sanitary system for expurgating germs from the hands. We hope to patent this system soon. And then we will become rich and famous! Thank you FDA, for making this opportunity possible!
The product isn’t out yet, and we don’t want anyone stealing our idea. But we thought we’d offer you a sneak preview. We’re sure you’re going to be just as excited as us, and will go around telling everyone about it. Who knows, you may even submit a pre-order.
So take a peek below, at Tippy Gnu’s New, Revolutionary, SOAP SUDSTITUTE System for Cleansing Hands:
Pre-order now and receive a complete cleansing system, with instruction manual. (Dog not included).
If our business is successful we may expand into a dish washing product line. And we could even venture into a substitute for toilet paper. Think of all the trees we can save!
Meanwhile, the video below indicates that antibacterial soap is still popular in Pakistan. Why can’t we be more like Pakistan?
Categories: Adversetisement
Chasing Unicorns 
Now that you’re saving on hand soap and hand sanitizer and dish washing detergent . . . you’ll have money in the budget to buy a dog for every room!
LikeLiked by 3 people
Or we can go with the economy-sized cat. But cats have scratchy tongues. Which is the price you have to pay, I guess, for saving money.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ahh, but the scratchy tongues would be a good replacement for those antibacterial soap with the deep cleaning bead things. 😆 Think of it. Have you ever seen a healthy cat who was filthy? It’s that deep-cleaning tongue that does it. 😆
LikeLiked by 1 person
“The deep-cleaning tongue.” Sounds like a good tagline for an ad. I’ll save that one for the marketing department.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😆
LikeLiked by 1 person
yes, but that scratchy cat-cleaning is the extra scrubbing and exfoliating feature.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hmm, then maybe we should charge extra for that.
LikeLiked by 1 person
& cats are just a bit more particular. a dog, on the other hand, is pretty much guaranteed to clean just about ANY dinner plate, stainless-ware, heck, cups and glasses, even!
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s true. Kittens are easier to work with, though, as long as you tie a string to the dish and pull it along the floor.
LikeLike
i know that dog face – his brother is a real snake. Bwahaha! I know most of the crime families up here in Canada.Love the anti-bacterial commercial for kids. Air craft carriers are the most expensive vessel on Earth. Then maintenance and operating costs are huge. There are only a handful of countries that have them. My point is that no anti-bacterial could afford such a thing. I think the video is a sham – don’t believe it..
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah, and I doubt Pakistan has an aircraft carrier. Something seems a little amiss. Maybe the Taliban is behind all this.
LikeLike
good choice!
my doggies dish & pan
washing is more sanitizing
than a sterilizer 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
No bacteria
Can survive the tongue
Of a determined dog
LikeLike
Maybe cat for stubborn jobs–dishes with dried-on food, hands after working on the car or in the garden–and dog for softer jobs like faces and TP substitute. Our dog loves “pre-cleaning” the butter dish. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sounds like a good idea. Cats can be a good sudstitute for Brillo pads or comet cleanser. Dogs can sudstitute for Softsoap.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My father used to encourage us to let our dog lick our various wounds. He said that there is nothing so clean as a dog’s mouth. Given that today Duncan helped himself to some unsavory treats, I think I’ll just go with regular soap.
LikeLiked by 1 person
No, I think your father was right. Consider how sick Duncan would be right now if he didn’t have a tongue that sanitizes everything he eats.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It would have to work pretty hard to remove the contaminants he ate today. He’s not kissing me for a week!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, better safe than sorry.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Time to embrace your bacteria — say hello to my little friends.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your little friends are no match for my little dachshunds. They’ll lick your hand spotlessly clean. If they don’t bite it, first.
LikeLike